Hey, Psych2Goers! Have you ever had a crush on someone and wondered why they weren’t asking you out? It can be super frustrating and make you second guess if they even like you at all! Earlier this year, a group of researchers at the University of Buffalo found that nonverbal communication and signs are the most helpful when trying to figure out if someone is attracted to you and why. Because of this, we as humans are wired to look for these unspoken things that we find attractive and signs that confirm they like us back. So, what signs are you supposed to look for exactly? Let’s take a look at 8 signs your crush likes you but is a bit scared to ask you out!
Side Note: This article is meant for entertainment purposes, so please don’t take it too seriously. If there’s a special someone on your mind, reach out to a mental health professional to help work through your situation and feelings!
#1: They’re always near you.
When you have a crush on someone, it’s natural to want to be around them more than usual. This might mean hanging out with them more than usual, but it can also mean literally being near you. Let’s say you, your crush, and three other friends to grab some coffee before work. When you go to sit down at the table, your crush rushes to pull a chair out for you. As they do so, they put their other hand on the chair right next to you, kind of as if to say that this is their seat. Why do you think they would want to sit by you so much? This could be a sign that they like you! If you notice situations like this or your crush “just happening” to sit by you more often than not, not only could they like you, but they could be a bit nervous to take things to the next level.
#2: They’re always making in depth conversation with you.
When you find a new hobby, you might learn more about it, practice it almost daily, or even try to find others that like that same hobby. Having a crush on someone is kind of like the same thing. Not only do you want to be around them, but you want to get to know more about them. You may ask them questions about their likes and dislikes, their opinions on certain matters, or even asking about their goals and aspirations. My friends and I typically send memes back and forth to each other. If someone starts sending more than just a picture or an “LOL”, it might be a sign that they like you and haven’t worked up the courage to ask you out.
#3: They make an effort to get to know your friends and/or family members.
When you think of being in a serious relationship, you typically meet the family. Sometimes, you’ll even meet best friends and other important people to your significant other. Sometimes both families can come together if it’s really serious. If you’re just friends with someone, you usually don’t go through all of the effort since you’re only trying to be friends with one person. Let’s apply this logic to your crush! If they want to hang out with you and your friends on game night, or they volunteer to be your plus one at your cousin’s wedding that you really don’t want to go to, this could be a sign they’re into you but are scared to take that step. It’s like a date without the pressure!
#4: You have inside jokes that they reference often.
Have you ever been inside an inside joke with someone? It can be one of the best feelings to be “in the know” and laugh at the joke. Have you ever been on the outside of an inside joke? Worst feeling ever. 10/10 would not recommend. It makes you feel like a bit of an outsider until the joke is done. So, if your crush is bringing up an inside joke that only the two of you would understand, they’re creating a little world only for you two where others wouldn’t get it (figuratively, of course). This could be their way of making it just the two of you without officially asking you out. This is a really good sign that they like you, and it’s one of the easier ones to pick up on.
#5: They’re a bit nervous around you!
I don’t know about you, but when you have the squad together, you can feel unstoppable or like the biggest baddie on the block. Back in 2005, the University of Kentucky even proved that high quality friendships can even help to reduce aggressive behavior, bullying behavior, and victimization tendencies. Friends make you feel great and help you to be a better person. If you and your crush are close friends and they’re a bit nervous or jumpy around you, it could be a signal that they’re nervous because they like you. They just “haven’t gotten around” to asking you out yet.
#6: They give you advice and are there for you in rough times.
When you think of desirable characteristics in a partner what comes to mind? A common desired quality is someone who listens to you. Another is someone who’s there for you, no matter what type of support you prefer. Sure, your friends are there for you, but a significant other (in my opinion) should be there for you in a different way. For example, if you bomb an important test, your friend might offer to get lunch with you, their treat. Your significant other, on the other hand, might also do things to cheer you up, but they’re also there to help give you advice and maybe come up with a game plan for next time. That’s what a PARTNER in life is there for! So, if your crush does this, they might want to be your partner, they just are a bit nervous to ask.
#7: They’re all over your social media.
Have you ever gone scrolling on someone’s social media platform? I have. When I do, it’s usually a celebrity that I’m trying to find dirt on, OR it’s someone I have a crush on. I’ve even done the unthinkable and liked more than “a few” cute selfies. My point is that people very rarely will go scrolling on someone’s page, liking pics and posts, or maybe even throwing a heart on some. This is a huge tell that someone likes you, but it’s an even BIGGER tell that this person is a bit nervous. They may even be too nervous to hang out with you if they interact with you via social media. This is your sign! They like you!
#8: They’re scared of rejection in other areas of life.
Rejection sucks! No one wants to be turned away, but for some, rejection is a very severe fear. This doesn’t just apply to relationships though. Think about your crush. Do they get nervous when auditioning or trying out for something? When they go to a job interview? Do they not speak up much in group settings? What about not pitching ideas to their team? This is a huge sign that your crush is scared of rejection.
In 2005, Thomas Langens and Julia Schüler did a study on the fear of rejection. They found out that having social support and/or expression of ones’ emotions in writing can significantly decrease the fear of rejection! Next time you want to send a text to your crush, maybe send them a compliment! Maybe make an excuse to brush their arm and practice your nonverbal communication. These things can help reduce your crush’s fear that you’ll reject them. It might even give them the push they need!
Nobody ever said love and relationships were easy. Hopefully, you got some good signs and clues to look out for the next time you’re hanging out with your crush. If you saw some of these signs in your crush, would you ask them out instead?? Let us know in the comments below! Who can resist a good love story? As always, keep an eye on Psi for more Psych2Go content.
Have a wonderful day!
Need to know when it’s time to move on if you don’t get the date? Watch 6 Signs to Give Up on Your Crush
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