A lot of us wonder what other people think of us. We spend a lot of time grooming ourselves and trying to look presentable enough for them because we care about what they think and how they perceive us. Why? Because whether we like to admit it or not, a lot of the time, how other people see you determines how they will treat you (Feynman, 2007). This is where beauty comes into play.
Our appearances can make or break a person’s first impression of us, and research shows that first impressions can have a lasting effect on our relationship with the other person (Lammers, Davis, Davidson & Hogue, 2016). In fact, one study even found that those who were deemed physically attractive were rated high in social desirability and given preferential treatment over their less attractive peers (Burkley, et al., 2014).
With that said, it’s not hard to see why a lot of us would get so caught up in our looks and wonder about our own attractiveness from time to time. Most people can get a good gauge of how attractive they are based on the compliments they get from others, how many relationships they’ve had, how popular they are on social media, and so on. But did you know that this isn’t always an accurate representation of your own attractiveness?
Here are 8 subtle signs you are more attractive than you think:
1. You don’t get a lot of compliments
Can you remember a time when you wore a really nice outfit or dolled yourself up in hopes of receiving lots of compliments, only for all your efforts to go unnoticed? Don’t let your self-doubt get you just yet! While it’s easy to assume that this happens because you simply don’t look as good as you thought you did, the opposite might in fact be true! You might be much better looking than you give yourself credit for, and because everyone already knows it, they don’t feel the need to keep reminding you about it by paying you a lot of compliments.
2. When they do, it feels insincere
The few compliments you do receive from others are usually casual and off-handed. People tend to remark about your appearance in a passing manner that you might find insincere, but the truth is, it’s probably because most of them think you look great no matter what. Think of your most attractive friend. Do you constantly gush about their appearance? No, right? You’d probably just bring it up when you notice they wore something new or changed up their look somehow.
3. Strangers stare at you
It’s easy to feel self-conscious when strangers stare at you in public, but if you notice that it happens a lot, you might be more attractive than you realize. When an attractive person walks into the room, a lot of us can’t help but look up and turn our gaze towards them. They’re effortless head turners with a kind of presence that demands your attention, and there’s nothing more attractive than that.
4. People gravitate towards you
Aside from captivating the attention of strangers, you might notice that a lot of people easily warm up to you and try to get closer to you when you first get to know them. This could be because they find you attractive and admire the way you carry yourself. Some may even offer to do favors for you like writing an essay. After all, it’s always fun to flirt with a cute stranger or try to get your crush to like you back, which brings us to our next point.
5. Others may act differently around you
Do you think you make other people nervous? Has anyone ever seemed dazed and confused when you first approached them? Attractiveness can be intimidating, and it can be hard to keep our cool around someone we like. When you notice other people acting strange around you, it could be because they find you attractive and don’t quite know how to talk to you.
6. People are surprised by your insecurities
We find it hard to believe that the people we admire have insecurities, too. We think that because they are so gorgeous, they don’t have anything to feel insecure about, but everyone struggles with low self-esteem sometimes. This might be why most people are so surprised when they find out that there are certain things about your appearance you’re not too happy with. It means that they would love to look the way you do and probably don’t even notice the flaws you see in yourself.
7. Others tend to have strong feelings about you
When you’re attractive, people may display positive or negative attitudes towards you. They might be overly friendly and warm when you first meet them, or mean and harsh for seemingly no reason. Either way, the reason why most people react so strongly about you is likely because they find you attractive. They act petty because they’re jealous of your good looks and feel threatened by you; while others may come up to you a lot and make excuses just to talk to you or spend time with you.
8. You have a lot of dating prospects
It might take some time before you meet someone you actually like, but you certainly don’t have to look far to find a guy or girl who’d be interested in you. You don’t stay single for long, and whenever you do, you always have a lot of dating prospects. Several people have confessed their feelings for you and some have even tried to court you. Though you might argue that it’s because you’re likeable, friendly, or popular, anyone one else would tell you that these are all definite signs that you are attractive.
Society puts a lot of pressure on us to be beautiful, and being attractive can certainly go a long way when it comes to dating and relationships. It plays a critical role in shaping our self-concept, and in turn, our self-confidence and feelings of self-worth. Look beyond your insecurities and try to understand what other people value in you. You might be surprised to find you’re actually much more attractive than you first thought.
• Feynman, R. P. (2007). ‘What Do You Care What Other People Think?’: Further Adventures of a Curious Character. Penguin UK.
• Lammers, W. J., Davis, S., Davidson, O., & Hogue, K. (2016). Impact of Positive, Negative, and No Personality Descriptors on the Attractiveness Halo Effect. Psi Chi Journal Of Psychological Research, 21(1), 29-34.
• Burkley, M., Burkley, E., Stermer, S., Andrade, A., Bell, A. C., & Curtis, J. (2014). The Ugly Duckling Effect: Examining Fixed Versus Malleable Beliefs About Beauty. Journal of Social Psychology. 32 (5); 466-483.