8 Things Highly Sensitive People Do That Make Them Hard to Love

Being a Highly Sensitive Person is a beautiful and precious gift, although it might not feel like at times. Because HSPs are hard-wired to process things on a deeper level than most, they tend to be introspective, self-aware, soft-spoken, intuitive, and in touch with their feelings. This allows them to have a deeper sense of love, intimacy, and emotional connection in their relationships with others — as long as they know how to handle their sensitivity.

But some HSPs don’t even know that they’re HSPs, while most people don’t really understand what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person. Because of this, HSPs can seem difficult to get to know and grow closer to. They are often misunderstood and seen as “too sensitive”, “too intense”, or “too emotional” by those around them.

With that said, here are 8 things Highly Sensitive People often do that make them difficult to love: 

1. Picking up on your every emotion

Now, while there are definitely some upsides that come with dating someone so in tune with your emotions, it can also complicate things a lot. Not only will a Highly Sensitive Person be able to tell what you’re feeling all the time, but they’re also quick to absorb it and experience it as their own. They can’t help but empathize with what you’re feeling, whether it’s good or bad, and sometimes you’re left with no other choice but to keep your distance from them at times when you’re feeling especially angry, irritable, anxious, or moody. So don’t expect your Highly Sensitive partner to stay calm when you’re upset or take all your moods steadily. 

2. Perceiving every little detail

Another major drawback to an HSPs extremely observant nature is their ability to perceive even the subtlest emotional cues and make it into a big deal. Whether it’s a slight change in the tone of your voice or a shift in your facial expression, a Highly Sensitive partner will quickly pick up on it and wonder about the meaning behind it. They’re incredibly adept at reading faces and body language, but have a tendency to fixate on it no matter how many times you tell them “It didn’t mean anything!” They pay extra attention to what those around them do, and it can cause them to take things too seriously sometimes. 

3. Being able to tell when you’re lying

You might think that honesty is integral to every strong and healthy relationship — and you’d be right — but when it comes to dating an HSP, sometimes it can be off-putting to know that you can never hide anything from them. We all need our privacy, and sometimes we want to keep things even from the ones we love because they’re just too personal to share. A lot of us feel uncomfortable being so exposed, knowing that someone else can see every chink in our armor even when we might not want them to. That’s why some people find it hard to love a Highly Sensitive Person.

4. Taking things too slow

Change can be scary for anyone, but because HSPs feel and process things so much more deeply than others, there are times when it can be downright terrifying for them. Maybe they’ve never been in a serious relationship before, or maybe they’re still not completely over their last failed romance. Whatever the reason may be, most HSPs like to take things slow with their partners, especially at the beginning. This can often make them seem hesitant or guarded when you first start dating them, and there might even be times when you start to wonder if they even return your feelings at all. It’s not easy to love an HSP, especially if you want something serious right away. 

5. Getting too easily overwhelmed

Another reason why a lot of people find it hard to love someone who’s Highly Sensitive is because they can get too easily overwhelmed by everything. They don’t like lots of commotion or noise or crowded places, and they’re exhausted by too much activity or social interaction (even the extraverted HSPs). This means that they’re not the type to go out and party a lot or dance all night at a club, and they might find concerts, malls, festivs, and amusement parks too tiring to go to. So if you’re looking for a partner who’s adventurous and always outgoing, you’ll likely feel frustrated when you date an HSP.

6. Needing too much space

Any Highly Sensitive Person — whether they’re introverts or extraverts — always needs some time alone to decompress at the end of every day. They can’t handle being so stimulated by long periods of time, and thus, need to be alone with their thoughts and feelings without any disruption. They have strong boundaries that you need to respect, and they often disapear at times without so much as a call or a text for days on end when they’re clearing their head. And it can be very frustrating for the people around them, especially their loved ones, because it can make them feel unwanted or uncared for.

7. Being too conflict adverse

No one likes conflict, of course, but some HSPs are absolutely against it. They dislike having to take sides and feeling the tension or unspoken anger between people, so they avoid any possible conflicts at all costs. They are quick to agree and go along with other people, even if they don’t really want to, and they are careful never to voice any criticism or differing opinions that they might have. They don’t speak their minds, but instead, bottle up all the anger, resentment, and hurt that they feel. They fail to see the positive change that conflict can sometimes bring, especially when it’s dealt with constructively. And because of this, HSPs can seem too compliant, submissive, and disingenuine.

8. Neglecting their own self-care

Finally but perhaps most importantly, it’s hard to love someone who seems like don’t even love themselves. We all want our loved ones to look after themselves because we won’t always be around to do it for them. We feel worried or frustrated when they don’t take good care of themselves and HSPs are very guilty of this. Because of their empathetic and compassionate nature, a lot of Highly Sensitive People put others’ needs ahead of their own. They make everyone else’s problems their problems, too, and they sometimes struggle with giving too much of themselves to others.

Is there a HSP in your life you’re finding a bit hard to love right now? Don’t give up on them just yet!

Loving a Highly Sensitive Person takes a lot of patience, empathy, and understanding, and you need to invest time, energy, and effort into making the relationship work. HSPs are caring, thoughtful, and sensitive to a fault. They need special care and attention to really flourish and feel comfortable in a relationship, whether it’s platonic or romantic. But once they do, it will undoubtedly be one of the most rewarding and heartfelt relationships you will ever experience.