I will start this blog by asking you what you personally think ? In other words, do you really believe that finding the suitable person requires certain beauty standards? Or it is controlled by feelings only, or maybe feelings and logic. Let me know your opinion in the comments or through the DM on my instagram page.
Physical appearance enhances the initial period in a relationship. How? This is because it gives the impression that there are other positive traits such as kindness, success. This is what culture cultivates in our brain, that if someone is attractive we assume that they also have other positive characteristics and this is known as the halo effect.
In my opinion, this happens in everything, can you tell me which of the below food plates you will prefer to eat ?
Although both can have the same nutritional value, the well presented plate will attract your eye and will make you more willing to eat it because mayn positive assumptions will be predicted just because it is well-presented. The same for human connection, just by being physically attractive that will make anyone predict that this person has more positive characteristics.
But, this is at the beginning of the relationship… Read the whole article..
To answer this question, we have to define the science of how we form relationships? And also, explanation of Attraction.
Where do we meet potential partners?
I personally meet my fiance through mutual friends, while my closest friends get to know their partners in the university library, or workplace, or neighborhood. This was mentioned scientifically by Bozen and Haren (1989), that we can meet ‘the one’ at public places such as, bars, and restaurants or in closed areas such as workplaces, or private places such as friends, family members. Recently, people tend to go for dating apps. Banker, 2005 stated that individuals who use a dating app, they tend to select who to talk through the location or geographical place.
This graph show how couples met:
Does Appearance Matter?
A study was made by Wastlet and his colleagues to measure the importance of physical appearance in romantic relationships through computer dance research. 752 participants took place in the research.
The students were assessed about their physical attractiveness, and they were instructed to fill questionnaires about the ideal partner for dating. The pairing for the dance were done randomly, and after the dance, they took another questionnaire about how much they liked the date ? and how much they wanted to go out with them again ?
The immediate results highlighted 3 points:
- Physical attractiveness was an important motive to make a successful date for both males and females.
- Liking was not affected by how attracted the other person felt towards the participant.
- The more the physical attractiveness in the date, the more the linking was in the initial stage.
However, after six months, students were asked whether they had dated their partners after the dance or not. The responses found that partners that found similar physical attractiveness gathered again more than those who were dissimilar. This is the core of the partnerships. We as human beings tend to feel more comfortable when we are surrounded by people who are similar to us.
Appearance matters but other things matters too:
Traits are the main criteria for the continuity of a relationship in the long term. Fletcher in (1999) made a research by asking participants about their list of characteristics in a relationship. The responses were mainly divided into 3 categories. First Category was warmth, intimacy, and loyalty. The second category was physical attractivness, and the third was social status.
So, warmth, intimacy, and loyalty were rated the most important category for both males and females (Swami, 2021).
When we love, we see the beauty in our partners. There is a tendency to see our romantic partners as more attractive than us (Swavi, 2012).
Lets play a game,
1st rate your partner attractiveness,
2nd rate yours.
This activity found that romantic people will see their partners more attractive than themselves, have a try and let me know what you found in the comments.
Love makes you happy with your partner, fulfilled, sharing things with respect.
Final thought, Choose a relationship that makes you a better version of yourself.
It is very clear that yes, physical attractiveness is important but it is not the factor of getting a better relationship or not.. We love to feel loved and we feel more connected when our partners share similar things to us.
I would love that you try the activities in the article and hear from you back. I believe in the quote of “ birds of a feather flock together”. What quotes you heard and you believed in ?
Swami, V. (2021). Attraction explained: The science of how we form relationships (2nd ed). London: Palgrave.
Swami, V. (2009). An examination of the love-is-blind bias among gay men and lesbians. Body Image, 6, 149-151.
Baker, M. J., & Churchill, G. A. (1977). The Impact of Physically Attractive Models on Advertising Evaluations. Journal of Marketing Research, 14(4), 538–555. https://doi.org/10.1177/002224377701400411
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3–66. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100612436522