Maybe It’s Not A Red Flag, It’s…

So, you’re navigating the tricky waters of dating, or maybe even thinking about committing to someone, but you keep spotting all these little warning signs and wonder if it’s really a cause for concern? We’ve all been there —jumping to conclusions, letting our insecurities run wild in our relationships. But what if that supposed “red flag” isn’t the dealbreaker you think it is?  Let’s explore some common misconceptions people have about relationships and the things you may be mistaking for a red flag, but are really just…

An Insecurity From A Past Relationship

Our experiences with past relationships can affect how we view new ones. Maybe you got hurt before by someone emotionally unavailable, and now you’re constantly worrying if they’re losing interest in you. Or you got cheated on in the past and now you’re overly suspicious. Whatever your baggage is, you need to be careful not to misinterpret this new person’s innocent behaviors as red flags. And instead of assuming the worst, try talking to them about it. They might not realize how their actions trigger your insecurities and could adjust once they understand. 

An Expectation You Didn’t Communicate

Picture this: You’ve been dating someone for a few months, and things are going well. You love spending time with them, but there’s something bothering you. They used to text you throughout the day, but now it takes hours for them to respond. Panic sets in—is this the beginning of the end? 

Now, before you jump to conclusions, consider this: have you actually told them how much you value constant communication? In your mind, it’s something they should just know. If they’re really the one for you, then they should just be able to anticipate all your needs, feelings, and desires without you having to spell it out, right?

Well…no. See, the reality is, they can’t read your mind. If you don’t communicate your needs and desires clearly, it’s unfair to label their actions as red flags. Take responsibility for expressing what you want from the relationship, and give your partner a chance to meet you halfway. 

A Deal Breaker For Someone Else, But Not You

In today’s social media-driven world, relationship advice is a dime a dozen, making it all too easy to fall into the trap of adopting someone else’s standards as your own. But remember that each person’s definition of a healthy relationship is shaped by their individual experiences, values, and priorities. And sometimes, what people label as “red flags” has more to do with their personal preference than a universal truth.

For example, your friend thinks it’s a deal breaker if a guy isn’t driven and ambitious, while your other friend says a girl that swears he’ll never date a girl with no sense of humor. Does that mean you should look for a partner that meets not only all of your standards but theirs as well? Of course not! Because that would be incredibly unrealistic. Instead, take the time to reflect on what truly matters to you. Stay true to your own values and don’t let others dictate your relationship standards.

Your Anxiety Predicting The Worst

Anxiety has a sneaky way of convincing us that disaster is just around the corner, making it easy to catastrophize and interpret innocent actions as signs of impending doom. Oh, did your crush make a new friend? You’re worried they might leave you for this person. Did they leave you on “sent” for two hours now? They must be ignoring you. Sound familiar? 

Sometimes what we perceive as a red flag is simply a manifestation of our own insecurities. Now, before you let your anxious thoughts run wild, take a step back and ask yourself: Is this fear based on facts or just my mind playing tricks on me? Don’t let your anxiety sabotage a potentially great relationship.

Them Being Human

At the end of the day, we’re all flawed and imperfect beings, and the person you like is no exception. They will make mistakes, have bad days, and do things that might annoy you. Maybe they’re not as affectionate or expressive as you’d like. Maybe they have different interests, or a strong sense of independence and healthy boundaries. None of these things makes them a red flag. 

To truly connect and fall in love with someone, you have to have an open heart and an open mind. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and accept that vulnerability in others. So instead of holding this person to impossible standards, or constantly being on the lookout for red flags left and right, why not give them a chance?

At the end of the day, it’s important to trust your gut instincts and prioritize your own well-being in any relationship. But don’t ruin a good thing before you give it a chance either. Communication, empathy, and a healthy dose of self-awareness can go a long way in helping us differentiate between an actual red flag or something else.

So, did this video emotionally resonate with you? Let us know if you’d like us to make a part 2. Or better yet, comment your own insights down below about other things people often mistake for red flags.

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