Psychology of Men: What Do Men Advise Women to Stop Doing?
“…taking dating advice or relationship advice from girlfriends often makes us dumber, and more stressed. Because most women get women – they don’t get men. Which means 99% of what women think, and the meaning we place on male actions is completely incorrect.” Explains thefeiminewoman.com.
What do you think? Do a majority of women misunderstand men?
From a very young age, I’ve always had an incredibly special bond with the men in my family. I’m highly grateful that I’ve been capable of observing, analyzing and therefore, developing a deep comprehension of the psychological aspect of men. When a “scandalous” occurrence derived from one of the men in my family, I was close enough to these male figures for them to make the effort to explain to me their train of thought; they genuinely explained to me why women might harshly assume: “he cheated on me and he’s so evil” or “he’s so oblivious and dumb”…but there’s always so much more to a story, right? It’s the men in my family that I have to thank for aiding me in formulating a “life isn’t purely black and white” mentality.
We can’t necessarily scold men for not understanding women. Think about it and be honest: do most women even truly comprehend men?
Common Women Mentality of Men: A lot of the things we worry about in correlation with men are: irrational, exaggerated, never happened and/or will most likely never happen.
Story #1: I once assumed this man I went on a date with wasn’t interested in me AT ALL. I started regretting many things I did/didn’t do on the date. “Ugh, maybe I was too private? Maybe I should’ve revealed more details about myself?”
Well, guess what? A week later, one of his friends told me: “Hey, he said the date was really good. You were fun to talk to. Outgoing and intellectual. Not boring like a date he went on around the same time he was hanging out with you.” I responded: “Oh really? I honestly thought he didn’t enjoy himself! He kept asking me all these questions so I assumed he thought I wasn’t speaking enough about myself.”
See what happened there? I assumed very wrongly. Plus, this is coming from a lady that is VERY logical. Imagine if I was more emotionally unstable…aka there are A LOT of other women out there who assume incredibly more wrong/harshly.
Another common scenario:
“Did he not text me back because of this? Or how about that? Maybe the clothes I was wearing was too slutty or high maintenance?”
No. He didn’t call or text you back simply because he didn’t want to.
Sure, he might’ve chosen to continue dating a different girl he was already seeing. Or he could simply just be too tired and realize he doesn’t want to invest time into dating you right now.
But, at the end of the day, these are mere assumptions and YOUR feelings. Not his feelings. Not any other man’s feelings.
AKA if a man wanted to reach out to you, trust me: he will.
Similarly: Glo.com writes in their article “15 things that turn men off” with their top two reasons being:
1) Over-Think the Future
“Women enjoy imagining the future. The story as it will be, as opposed to the story that is right now. That can be a wonderful, romantic quality. It can also be an irritating, annoying quality. Having dinner together this Valentine’s Day is beautiful enough, without scripting the Valentine’s Day we’ll have when we’re both 75.”
2) Obsess Over Details
“Enjoying the new sofa that we just bought is great, without having to obsess over all of the other things that we “need” to make the living room look complete. Living in the moment provides its own vitality, which is more than enough to sustain our future together.”
So, women (myself included since I am nowhere near perfect): one key factor in formulating a healthy relationship with men is to control our tendency to jump to assumptions that are irrational and most likely not true, exaggerated and/or will never happen. Don’t obsess over every small detail and don’t over-think the now or the future. Formulating a healthy mentality is not only beneficial to understanding men but also, should be utilized in all aspects of our lives.
What are your thoughts? Do you think these insights/findings about women are accurate?
Xoxo,
Chrissy
Understanding Men: 5 Insights on Men to Ease Your Worries – The Feminine Woman. (n.d.). Retrieved December 6, 2014, from http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2013/01/understanding-men-5-insights-on-men-to-ease-your-worries/
15 Things That Turn Men Off – Over-Think the Future | Gallery | Glo. (n.d.). Retrieved December 6, 2014, from http://glo.com/relationships/15-things-that-turn-men-off-5974.gallery?photoId=20883#!stackState=0__/relationships/15-things-that-turn-men-off-5974.gallery?photoId=20877
Understanding Men…Will We Women Ever? (n.d.). Retrieved December 6, 2014, from http://www.lovesceneonline.com/featured/understanding-men-will-we-women-ever/
When You Overthink. (n.d.). Retrieved December 6, 2014, from http://amazingasset.com/2012/10/01/when-you-overthink/
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