Hands up everyone who has been a toxic person a couple of times. Yes, we’ve all been there. But we at psych2go are here to help. We’ve compiled a list of signs you are becoming a toxic person.
Everyone is out to get you?
Does it feel like you’re having problems and others are to blame? Has it been like that for a while now? It could be that you’re becoming more toxic to others. Whenever there is a problem, it rarely only originated from one person. But when it seems like it’s always everyone else’s fault, it might just be the case that you are unconsciously playing the blame game. It’s time to reassess the situation; how did this problem really arise? Try to forget ‘whose fault’ it was, but actively work on solutions.
Trash talking is a no-no if you don’t want to be a toxic person
There is a difference between confiding in a person when you’ve had a fallout with someone and actively talking trash. Do you find yourself gossiping more, or do others share their gossip with you. Try to stay away from that, you don’t need that in your life. It will only make you a more toxic person.
Are you taking disproportionately more than you are giving? Do you find yourself staring away or pretending to be busy when someone is in need of help. Whether it’s a small or a large request, helping others when you are able to makes you less toxic. You don’t have to say yes to everything, but if you find yourself helping others less and less you are at risk of becoming a toxic person. Even more so, if you stop helping people, they are also less likely to help you out in the long run. Any help is better than no help, even if it’s just checking up on how they are feeling.
Nag, nag, nag
While a nice relieving session of venting about stuff that’s not going right can be good for you, it’s a balancing act. When the negativity starts to take over most of your speaking moments it’s time to try again. You don’t have to keep everything to yourself, you should be honest. However, you should also know when it’s time not to say anything about it. Not every moment of addressing negativity will be worth it. You don’t want to become a negative Nancy don’t you? Try actively to find positive things by writing them down a couple of times per week. Because being overly negative might drive people away without realising it. Give others time to express their worries and peeves too, because it should not be only about you.
While being rightfully angry is, as it says, rightful, you should not let it grow into a grudge. Holding a grudge can go in different directions, making you either bitter towards yourself or bitter towards others. This is the first step to becoming a toxic person, which is what you probably do not want to be.
Do you find yourself hogging most of a conversation, or do you feel like people are constantly trying to hog your place? Think once more if it really is the case. It could be that you are becoming toxic. Are they interrupting you, or are you interrupting them? Make a conscious effort to balance a conversation. In this ways neither of you will be a toxic person, and you’ll all walk away happy and feeling heard.
Acknowledge your own role
You are the person in your life with the greatest ability to change it. Acknowledge that there is some part you are playing in all of this. Use this as a way to better yourself.
About that time when…
Sometimes things do deserve a second thought, but there are boundaries. When you find yourself rehashing the same conversation for the umpteenth time, it’s time to reign it in. You are being a toxic person, and it’s time to stop that. Yes, some things you don’t get over as quickly, that is fair. But think carefully before you begin about the same subject again. Will this really cover a new angle? What are you and the others getting out of it? Is it worth it to bring up the emotions again?
These were 8 signs you are becoming a toxic person. Do you know anymore? What do you think can influence a person’s toxicity?