“Am I likeable?”
Doesn’t this question linger on your mind like a fly that buzzes around your ears?
The inconvenient truth: No one enjoys being resented or neglected. It is human nature to be well-liked and respected by others. Likeable people are more likely to make friends, succeed professionally, have more romantic prospects, and have better relationships.
Are you curious whether or not you have a likeable personality? Let’s dig deep into the list of likeable characteristics below:
- You are genuine.
Are you someone who spends time exploring your own beliefs, ideals, standards, and life expectations, instead of being influenced by external expectations? And do you discover your own unique ways to pursue passion and purpose in life? If you answer “Yes”, it is highly probable that you are being true to yourself and a genuine person.
So why do people tend to gravitate towards a genuine person? Well, it is easier to like someone when we know who they really are and how they feel. Authentic people are just comfortable in their own skin and know what they want without being influenced by other people’s opinions. Most importantly, they have self-awareness by looking inwards while staying grounded in who they truly are.
- You are a good listener.
When you are having a conversation with someone, do you stare at your phone, or do you give your full attention to the person speaking? If you identify with the second question, you are a good listener. A good listener engages in active listening by processing and understanding what is being said to them, while not interrupting or just listening to respond. And listening involves empathy – When we listen carefully, we are considering the speaker’s feelings and intentions without interfering with our own. This quality is likeable because we are giving attention and respect to the speaker as well as the words spoken. In this sense, listening is more than just a cerebral activity; it is an emotional one as well.
- You are humble.
Are you someone who is reflective and grateful for what you have instead of being boastful? If you are, then you are a humble person. A humble person is not hesitant to offer an apology for their mistakes and admit that they need to improve instead of being stubborn and covering the errors with a lie.
While this trait may seem an invisible trait in today’s common perception, it has several benefits. According to research by Niemiec and McGrath (2019), humility is associated with some favourable characteristics such as appearing less threatening to others, being more tolerant, and having increased emotional wellness, self-regulation, and resilience. And by planting these characteristics in yourself, it allows you to be more approachable and helpful to those around you.
- You are not judgemental.
“When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself.”
Why is a non-judgemental person likeable? They have a sense of balance and understand those with different opinions. They embrace the differences and are more observant without evaluating other people’s behaviour, actions, or words. There may be times when you disagree with someone’s ideas or way of thinking, but you can still accept and interact with them without judgment.
- You are empathetic.
How do you define empathetic? Empathetic is an ability to understand and feel what someone else is feeling, or being able to see a situation based on another’s perspective. So why do empathetic people tend to be more likeable? Well, it allows them to have compassion for others, relates to friends, loved ones, co-workers and even strangers. They also have the ability to challenge their preconceptions and prejudices towards people with different viewpoints.
- You greet people by name.
Names are a huge part of who you are, and it feels great when someone addresses you by your name. When they are with others, likeable people always call them by their names. When you say someone’s name, you give the message that the person is important and special enough to remember. As a result, there is an atmosphere of respect, recognition, and consideration for the discussion.
We are not solely responsible for our likability. A lot depends on the context, our roles and functions within the group, the people around us, our commonalities and differences, and their biases. There may be people who will never like us, no matter how likeable we are. Perhaps they disagree with our way of life, culture, choices or hold grudges and resentments we are unaware of. Generally speaking, we can make ourselves more likeable, but it is also essential to keep in mind that we can’t please everyone all the time.
Niemiec, R. M., and McGrath, R. E. (2019). The power of character strengths: Appreciate and ignite your positive personality. Cincinnati, OH: VIA Institute on Character.
Winch, G. (2015, March 18). The 7 habits of truly genuine people | Psychology Today. Psychology Today. Retrieved December 23, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201503/the-7-habits-truly-genuine-people