10 Ways to Build Your Emotional Resilience

Part of what defines character is finding the will to carry on during times of adversity. Having the guts to look forward —that despite everything, you still believe in something greater waiting for you ahead. So, you make the best of what you have. You take all the grief, turmoil, and failures, and allow them to transform you instead of letting them destroy you for good. That’s called resilience. It’s an important skill to learn and sets apart someone who can handle the stress and conflict life throws at them from someone who can’t. So, how does one master resilience? Psych2Go shares with you 10 ways to build your emotional resilience:

1. Know your boundaries.

What constitutes resilience is not letting loss or temporary suffering define who you are. Know that there’s a difference between your identity and the battle that you are going through. Think of it this way. Often, our bad days bring the worst out of us, but they’re not accurate portrayals of who we are at heart. Know your own self-worth and don’t confuse the present that is hard to overcome for your future.

2. Surround yourself with resilient people.

Find and surround yourself with people who inspire you with their ability to turn things around despite the challenges that they face. Energy is contagious, so when you hang out with people who give off positive vibes, you will also be influenced to exhibit the same behavior. Resilient people are good supporters you can turn to when you want sound advice, too.

3. Be self-aware.

Being self-aware helps us tap into our psychological needs. Listen to your body and focus on subtle cues that tell you what is needed, what isn’t needed, and when it’s time to reach out for help. Your health is important, so by avoiding and denying the essential needs your body is deprived of, this will only be detrimental to you in the long run.

4. Be accepting.

To be resilient means going with the flow. It means accepting the hard times for what they are and being flexible with reality, rather than denying it. Some might believe that by accepting things for what they are, you are giving up, but this is not true. To fully cooperate and work with anything, there has to be a degree of receptivity established. Otherwise, it’s hard to be open to opportunities that can help you get through the hard times.

5. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the ability to focus on the present and being in the moment without judging or avoiding the situation. The first thing some people might resort to is escapism to distract themselves from the pain that they feel. They may turn to drugs or drink their sorrows away, but these methods are counterproductive in the sense that they create more damage than good. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is one of the purest techniques of healing.

6. Know that you don’t have all the answers, nor should you expect yourself to.

Sometimes, when we try too hard to search for answers to all of our problems, it takes us longer to find them. This is because we spend most of our time and energy going the extra mile to find the solution when the answer can be so simple and right in front of us that we overlook it. Learn to be patient when you don’t have all the answers yet, but know that it is impossible to have definite answers to all of your questions.

7. Form good habits.

Self-care is important. If your body shuts down from being overworked, then it’s time to recharge and form good habits that will help you stay on track. Practice good hygiene, eat nutritious meals on time, and get enough sleep each night. Taking care of your health can regulate your mood better. This can help you form better judgments when you are facing adversities, rather than being consumed by the negativity on the surface.

8. Ask for help.

Even superheroes can’t fight off evil alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out and seek help when you need it. Part of being resilient means staying open-minded and allowing others to give you a lending hand when you find yourself falling apart. It doesn’t make you weak, because by receiving the love others give, you are strengthening yourself again.

9. Don’t focus on limitations that hold you back; consider the possibilities.

Train yourself to look at situations in different perspectives. What you thought you were so sure of one second ago might change the next day. It’s all about taking in information and considering the many possibilities it can project. This is why some people look at the glass half empty while others see it as half full.

10. Get out of your head.

If you spend time ruminating over the same things over and over again, you miss out on moving forward. This only causes more dread and anxiety to fill up inside of you. Learn to keep your thoughts at bay by focusing on the present and what is around you, rather than constantly trying to pick apart and analyze something that can be appreciated instead.

Do you find these tips to be helpful? Psych2Go would love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment down below!



Waters, B. (2013, May 21). 10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People. Psychology Today. Retrieved October 11, 2017.

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  1. A lot of this I already know and have heard in several different ways. I guess that is confirmation that these steps are universal and really work. I practice some of these already and need to improve on others. However, it’s always nice to be reminded of what I should be doing to stay emotionally & spiritually healthy.

  2. Thank you for your positive thoughts. It means a lot. I’ve been trying to fight an endless battle trying to fight/change things that doesn’t seem compatible to my circumstances all along and beating my self each time I fail, which is like 99% of the time while letting them be can be all it takes sometimes.

    We need people like you to deal with everyday challenges to remind us we can be ourselves and still be enough. I hope this reaches more people

  3. Great reading ten ways to build ER. It should start us off on the right track to building ER if we work at it.


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