Being single isn’t a bad thing at all. But, it’s hard to remember that when we live in a culture that conditions you to believe that you’re a failure if you don’t find yourself in fulfilling relationships with others. People might not outwardly say it to you. However, that doesn’t stop you from experiencing their sympathetic stares when you reach a certain age and they wonder why you’re not married yet, or why you’re not putting yourself out there more in the dating pool. Let’s hold off on the judgment, and reflect on the benefits of single life. Here are 5 reasons why being single can be good for you:
1. You have more time to focus on yourself.
You don’t have to worry about making time for someone else. Instead, you only have to concern yourself with your own priorities. This immensely frees up your schedule that can work to your own advantage. Being single provides opportunities for you to focus more on your career, school, family and friends, hobbies, traveling, or other personal goals that you have in mind.
When I’m single, I cherish the time I have to learn about what I’m good at. I immerse myself in projects and I can be as busy as I want to be without having to owe anyone but myself explanations as to how I’m choosing to spend my time. I learn to prioritize myself. It’s a special kind of pampering.
2. You become more self-reliant and sufficient on your own.
Your own self-esteem doesn’t rely on the love you receive from someone else. Instead, you learn how to measure your own self-worth through your own personal talents, strengths, and accomplishments. You learn about the value of independence and individuality, and you become wiser and stronger as a result.
When I’m single, I find myself not caring so much and giving into what others think about me. The more time I spend alone, the more I realize the only valid opinions I need are mine. Self-empowerment can teach you a lot about self-love and it’s so incredibly freeing.
3. You have time to heal from all your past heartbreaks.
You don’t have to worry about unnecessary emotional drama and can lay low from that scene. Relationships can take so much out of you that when they do break, it’s a kind of death that takes time for you to recover and find yourself again. Letting your heart heal is imperative before it learns how to love again.
When I retreat, I do it not with the intention to avoid the world altogether, but rather, with the will to go on. I do what I feel is best for me to cope with my loss. Escapism becomes my best friend, because sometimes what you need to heal isn’t others. It’s letting the whole damn thing break until it can’t anymore and only then can you start anew. I make sure every bit of the past is down to ruins before I rebuild myself.
4. You learn how to combat loneliness with aloneness.
I know that sounds weird, because usually you’re supposed to combat something with the opposite of it. So, you’d think that the only way to fight loneliness is from being with someone new. But, it’s not the only way. By exposing yourself to more solitude, you learn to separate being alone from loneliness. It doesn’t eat away at your core. You learn to tame the lonely wolf before it consumes you.
People have a fear of being alone. And while it’s a valid fear, I think we can still learn to be okay with things when we’re by ourselves. Personally, I love aloneness. But, maybe that’s because it hasn’t failed me as much as when I’ve developed feelings for others that only turned to waste in the end. Being alone lets you lean on yourself.
5. You learn about what it is that you actually want in the next relationship you try to cultivate.
Giving yourself the time and freedom to know who you are will make it clear on the kind of love you seek. Moreover, I think it’s important for people to accept the kind of love they deserve instead of caving in and settling for something less. It’s good to reflect and be honest about what you want in your next relationship.
I’d rather be single than be with someone who is completely wrong for me. There was a confession made to me once. He said, “I think I was just so desperate for an emotional connection again.” It really hurt me —realizing that the entire time, I was just someone who could lessen the pain for him, but not necessarily be someone he could actually love. Ever since that incident, I learned that being single really forces you to come to terms with yourself. The question, What the hell do you actually want? isn’t crazy. You can’t afford to not be true to who you are.
What are your thoughts on being single? Leave a comment down below!