Hey, Psych2Goers! Are you happy where your life is at? Is it everything you ever wanted? Or is it lacking in some real lustre? Do you look back on your life and only see the bad times and the negative feelings? You could be doing certain things that are making things worse on a continuous scale. Some of which you may not even realize are happening in the first place!
Here are ‘7 Behaviour That Ruin Your Life’.
DISCLAIMER: This post is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This post is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.
#1. Obsessing with the Past
Do you lay awake all hours of the night, because of that one time you felt super awkward in front of someone, ten years ago? Chances are whatever you said or did, was completely forgotten by that other person. It’s natural for you to look back on past events or moments that you view as “mistakes”. Obsessing or ruminating about the past helps nothing.
What’s happened has happened and you can’t change it. Time machines unfortunately don’t exist, but it would certainly be a whole lot cooler if they did.
#2. Focusing On Other People’s Happiness
Jealousy is a tough thing to deal with. Do you find yourself envious of other people and their success? Instead of praising your friends and family members, you may be diminishing their accomplishments, both in your head and out loud. It doesn’t do you any good to dwell in bitterness. As easy as it may be to go back to that factory setting.
Maybe you’re not the jealous type, and are often proud of others. This is great! But it can come at a cost. If all you ever do is pay attention to those around you, you may lose yourself in the process. You can’t support others if at first you don’t support yourself. It’s okay to be the most important person in your own life.
#3. Not Being Content With The Present
This is perhaps one of the hardest struggles you may deal with. While the past has already happened, and the future has yet to come, the present is always happening. It’s a bit of a trippy thing to think about. Provided you spend enough time doing so. People are always trying to find whatever “the secret to happiness is”. Here’s the answer: there is no secret.
You may be sad, mad or disappointed about the jobs you didn’t get, or the car you couldn’t afford. You’re totally valid in those feelings. You can accept that you’re at, where you’re currently at. Take a moment took back at your life, five years ago to now. Are things better? Are they worse? Try making a pros and cons list. If things are more pro, then you’re doing well. If they’re more con, that just means there’s more work to still be done.
#4. Putting Stress On Your Body
It’s unfortunately impossible to avoid stress completely. Not all stress is bad stress though. But how can that be? Stress isn’t something that a lot of people often say is fun. Some stress however, can help you focus on the task at hand. Like a super big, super important project.
Too much of it though can affect not only your brain, but your body as well. According to Smitha Bhandari, MD: “Research has shown a connection between stress and chronic problems like high blood pressure, obesity, depression and more.”
#5. Keeping Toxic People Around
Toxic people thrive off of others like leeches. Does anyone in your life immediately spring to mind? A close friend, significant other, or even a family member? It can be very difficult to remove these kinds of people from your life. Especially when they mean so much to you. Perhaps you’ve tried to cut them out before, but then they gaslit or guilted you into keeping them around.
If you’ve decided to cut those people out of your life, it’s entirely up to you whether to give them closure or not. This is totally your choice. Cutting off all contact from someone who’s no longer good for you can feel like a massive weight off your chest.
#6. Always Dreading The Future
If you’re a particularly anxious person, future events can often cause no end of stress. There’s no certainty about the future. You can’t control it. What you can control is how you feel about it. You may struggle with some rather unhelpful thinking strategies like “catastrophizing” where you often assume that they absolute worst will happen.
Or perhaps you’re an “all or nothing” type of thinker. You’re either a complete success, or a total failure. Those who are exacting perfectionists can often struggle from this. Being worried about what’s going to come down the line affects your present, just like the past does with obsessing. Do your best to focus on “The Now”.
#7. Being A Total Defeatist
The “All or Nothing” unhelpful thinking style really applies here too. If you’re a defeatist, you might not ever try anything new. The things that used to give you joy, like playing sports or reading a good book, may no longer be appealing. It’s more than okay to have your bad days. Everyone has them, but if every single day for you is a bad day, this defeatist mentality can become overwhelming.
Even worse, it can also affect others around you. If you’re constantly negative and down on yourself, others may be less inclined to spend time in your company. The less your loved ones spend time with you, the more you may feel defeated. This could cause the vicious cycle to continually worsen, and loop in on itself.
Just because you may have done a couple things on this list, that doesn’t mean there’s no hope for you. Take a breath. Maybe take another. It’s going to be okay. It may not feel like it right now, but things will get better. Maybe you’re someone who’s done all seven of these behaviours. If you’re that person, it’s going to be okay too.
Now that you’re aware of these behaviours, it’s up to you to change them! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!
‘6 Signs You’re Sabotaging Your Own Life and Happiness’ by Intrepid mental Wellness, PLLC https://www.intrepidmentalhealth.com/blog/6-signs-youre-sabotaging-your-own-life
‘What Does Stress Do To The Body?’ by Smitha Bhandari, MD (November 17th, 2020) https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-and-the-body