7 Signs It’s Time to Cut Off Your “Friend”
Friends are your family away from home. They are your support system in areas that your family is available or has access to. A good friend can be a support system and a pillar of strength.
However, some signs let you know that perhaps your friendship is not an ideal source for support but rather something toxic.
- They see you as competition.
It’s good to have motivated and ambitious friends. Their ambition rubs off on you. Pretty soon, you’ll want to put more effort into your life. Hence, competition is helpful as long as it leads you both to push each other to be better. However, there might be friends who compete with you in every aspect–trying to outshine you. Being around someone who constantly wants to one-up in everything is damaging to your mental health. Hence, it is best to cut ties with that person quickly.
- They are not there for you.
Friendships are based on equality and reciprocity. The give-and-take is a necessary part of a healthy friendship. However, if there is a friend who constantly expects you to be therefore them but is never there for you, this is a sign that you may need to re-evaluate that friendship.
Sit down with your friend and discuss how you are feeling. People are usually not as self-serving or inconsiderate as to not show up for you. Check in with them to see if there is something that prevents them from being more reciprocal. If, after you talk to them, things remain unchanged, then you should consider leaving that friendship.
- You only have the past in common.
Sometimes we continue relationships because they feel familiar or because there is history. There is nothing wrong with staying friends with an old friend. If you are committed to continuing that friendship, then both of you have to be open to evolving it. People change; hence so do relationships. However, do not stay in a friendship simply because you both feel obligated to honor the past.
- They talk about you behind your back.
In short, this person is not your friend. They are disguising themselves as a friend. We all get frustrated and want to vent. But, if you are frustrated with someone, the best person to talk to is the person you are frustrated with. Talking behind someone’s back is immature.
- You feel worse after being around them.
According to Gabriella Feingold, life coach, friendships should energize you not drain you. Even if you are talking to a friend about a deep and emotional subject, you should feel unburdened and accepted–warm. So, if you leave your hangouts feeling worse, then something is off.
- They want you to change.
Friends should accept you for who you are. This doesn’t mean that if a friend helps you challenge yourself they are trying to change you. That’s why people become friends –to have someone who understands and accepts you. That’s what we all hope to have in all our relationships.
Hence, you two should feel comfortable around each other. If you feel like your friend wants you to change who you are, you should consider moving on.
- You don’t trust them.
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. The same goes for friendships. If you cannot trust your friend, you likely do not have a healthy relationship. Friendship without trust does not even qualify as friendship.
Treasure your friendships because they are rare. Like all relationships, they require time, patience, and communication.
Clingan, G. (2021, June 21). 8 signs it’s time to cut off the friendship. Thought Catalog. Retrieved November 8, 2021, from https://thoughtcatalog.com/gina-clingan/2021/06/8-signs-its-time-to-cut-off-the-friendship/.
Lusinski, N. (2018, December 9). 9 signs it’s time to end a friendship, according to Therapists. Business Insider. Retrieved November 8, 2021, from https://www.businessinsider.com/signs-you-should-end-friendship-therapists-2018-12.
Wolff, C. (2017, July 14). 11 signs it’s time to cut off a friendship, no matter how hard it is. Bustle. Retrieved November 8, 2021, from https://www.bustle.com/p/11-signs-its-time-to-cut-off-a-friendship-no-matter-how-hard-it-is-70203.
Signs you are… (2021, July 15). 12 signs it’s time to end a friendship with a ‘so-called friend’ • signs you are… Signs you are… Retrieved November 8, 2021, from https://signsyouare.com/signs-its-time-to-end-a-friendship/.