Mental Illness Recovery Series: Story # 94

Aislinn, likes to go by Ax and she is born in Indiana. She has moved a lot throughout her life, and currently lives in California. She loves to crochet, sing and dance to any music that speaks to her. She is fond of reading and watching fantasy and mystery shows. Aislinn has a huge sweet tooth. Her goal is to get her driver’s license, and to study psychology to help others. In five years from now she sees herself either genuinely happy or dead. She said, “I’m preparing for both, because the universe is chaotic and I have no idea what’s gonna happen, infinite possibilities”. She was diagnosed and still battles with post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD), with symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Aislinn mental illness was caused by a traumatic childhood. It all started when Aislinn mother tried to abort her, after being born her father physically abused her mother and her because he also is mentally ill. Her parents eventually divorced, just to remarry. Aislinn was mentally and emotionally abused by her mother because she did not want to have her. Sadly, she hated her little brother. The both have tried to kill each other in multiple occasions, until the cops got involved and recommended she got help. Three month later she went to a therapist who was not trained well, and left therapy feeling worse. Fortunately, she is now with a good therapist and has been able to make progress.

Aislinn dealt with horrible symptoms throughout her life. She said, “I wet the bed until 12 years old, I flinch if people move too fast, if someone seems even slightly upset or are super focused on doing something I get hyper aware of everything, making me anxious and shaky. I get panic attacks on a regular basis, and I have severe social anxiety. I can’t go into my full list of symptoms, but those are the big ones.” She became apathetic just to get by until she got help. Not only that, but Aislinn became aggressive and on edge looking for fights. She has considered and attempted suicide in the past.

She had few friends, because of the walls she put for protection. Everyone else left her alone because they felt intimidated. Because of this Aislinn didn’t care. She said, “At the time I didn’t give a sh*t, I was almost completely apathetic to everything as a survival mechanism”. Her turning point was to learn grounding exercises to properly handle situations, she left the toxic environment and is now learning to take care of herself. She uses tips she finds on tumblr, and stays close to supportive friends. Aislinn is now more positive, and feels a bit more freed.

This is her advice:

“Its cheezy, but you will make it. You are stronger than you think you are. Listen to me: You Can Do This. Just go find your happy place and put a death grip on it, use it to claw your way out of whatever situation you’re in and DON’T GIVE IN TO IT.”

She has been through a whole lot in her life, I hope that with therapy she will be able to finally be happy. She wanted to share her tumblr with you guys: taureanfandomtrashartist. Help me make a difference by sharing your story. If you or anyone you know needs a safe place to vent out and recieve advice feel free to become a member of the Mental Illness Recovery Series Group on Facebook.