Do you feel like you’re always the one chasing people around?
Do you wish the tables were reversed for once?
What exactly do you need to do to be chased?
How much effort should you put to make people interested?
You may feel silly for asking yourself these questions, but sometimes, it just feels nice to be wanted.
Just remember that without self-love, self-validation, and personal contentment, no amount of appreciation and attention from others will give you the peace and love you deserve. It’s all about balance.
So without further ado, here are 4 helpful ways to make anyone chase you. Good luck!
FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: This article is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. It’s not a substitute for professional advice and is instead created for uplifting general guidance. Everyone’s situation is different. What applies to you may not apply to another person. Please always listen to your intuition to determine the best possible decision. Hope you learn a lot!
1. Give room for mystery.
Why are mysterious people so attractive?
What is it about the cold, silent, and mysterious types that make you want to learn about them more?
Let’s look at Levi Ackerman from the Attack on Titan series. He’s pretty silent and cold but somehow has a whole army of fans screaming in support and adoration.
So what makes his brooding character so appealing?
According to Simone Redaelli, Ph.D., mystery is linked to fascination.
When humans encounter something unfamiliar, they will most likely probe and explore to acquire more information.
This type of behavior may be linked to the early humans who were constantly faced with possible dangers and had to develop strategies to overcome them.
According to Redaelli, being a potential source of unprecedented knowledge, a mysterious setting easily attracts us and it is, therefore, a source of fascination.
So if you want to become THAT source, try finding more ways to add mystery to your life.
You could start by spending less time on social media and more on your hobbies. Focus on your own goals and when conversing, practice listening more than speaking. It’s all about shifting the focus to the other person and less on you.
2. Develop your physical appearance.
Have you ever been interested in someone because of their appearance alone?
There’s no shame in following people online because you find them drop-dead gorgeous. Good-looking people just tend to receive more attention.
But why is it so?
According to Kendra Cherry, several different studies have found that when we rate people as good-looking, we also tend to believe that they have positive personality traits and that they are more intelligent.
Because of that, they are more likely to receive benefits from being paid more, getting considered for more jobs, and having stronger social skills (Akhtar & Baer, 2019).
This contrast in treatment is also highlighted in the webtoon Lookism where the main character, Daniel Park, who was bullied for being chubby and weak, suddenly becomes a highly popular and agreeable individual after waking up with a more attractive body.
In a study by Zeigler-Hill and Myers, attractiveness is also highly linked with higher levels of self-esteem.
This means that if you’re interested in increasing your appeal, it may help to develop confidence in your capabilities and looks.
Maybe you require a haircut or even a new style! Whatever it is, it’s good to explore and do things that make you feel empowered and self-assured.
Practice dressing well, taking care of your hygiene, and learning how to best express yourself socially. Exercise and having a balanced diet have also been shown to have good effects on your self-esteem.
Lastly, try embracing your bad qualities and highlighting the good ones. Developing your physical appearance isn’t something done in a day, it’s a byproduct of how you choose to live your life. You’re already stunning, maybe it’s time to elevate it.
3. Keep yourself busy.
Aside from being mysterious, it’s also good to fill your schedule with fun and productive activities.
After all, if you’re always free, how can people chase you?
This doesn’t mean playing hard to get, of course. If people start asking you out and you want to socialize with them, do it! Try to avoid playing mind games like breadcrumbing, benching, and playing hard to get to make them miss you more – those tactics have actually been shown to be defense mechanisms and survival instincts for people with insecure attachment styles. If you want to learn more about that topic, please comment down below!
Keeping yourself busy just means keeping yourself busy and nothing else. Sometimes, you may feel like you aren’t being chased because you have too much free time on your hands.
It’s good to be preoccupied with other things and let life flow naturally. You can try hiking, going to the gym, or maybe even partying! By being more active and productive, you can meet new people, gain more relationships, and increase the quality of your social life!
4. Be the best version of yourself at this moment.
Everyone is different and therefore chases after different types of people.
So how can you be the best version of yourself in the only way you can?
Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s always a quality of yourself you can work on. However, there will also be parts of yourself that will remain constant no matter what you do.
Try not to fight it too much. In learning ways to make people chase after you, it may get easy to forget the most important tip of all: being genuine.
As much as possible, avoid pretending to be someone you’re not. Instead, identify the qualities you admire and slowly integrate them into your life.
What qualities do you chase after? Why do you think so?
If it’s physical attractiveness, then perhaps it might help to focus on exercise and developing your looks. If it’s personality or self-esteem, it may be time for constant self-reflection, developing habits, and saying affirmations.
Remember: you are an artwork in progress and there will always be someone appreciating you.
Hope this helps!
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Have you ever chased after someone? Why did you do it? How did it end?
Please share your experiences down below! We look forward to hearing your stories.
If you know someone who may enjoy this article, please don’t hesitate to share it with them as well.
As usual, the references and studies used are in the description box below.
Thank you so much, Psych2goers! See you next time.
YOU CAN ALSO WATCH
Akhtar, A., & Baer, D. (2019, October 8). 11 scientific reasons why attractive people are more successful in life. Business Insider. Retrieved July 7, 2022, from https://www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11?international=true&r=US&IR=T
Cherry, K. (2020, July 19). How the Halo Effect Influences the Way We Perceive Attractive People. Verywell Mind. Retrieved July 7, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-halo-effect-2795906
Gillath, O., Ph. D. (2020, July 1). Who’s Playing Hard-to-Get, Who’s Attracted to It, and Why. Psychology Today. Retrieved July 7, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-we-need-is-love/202007/whos-playing-hard-get-who-s-attracted-it-and-why
Redaelli, S., Ph. D. (2020, December 12). The Psychology of Mystery and Fascination. Psychology Today. Retrieved July 7, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sonnet-freud/202012/the-psychology-mystery-and-fascination
Z. (2020, January 13). How To Be More Mysterious: 6 Tips That Work. The Attraction Game. Retrieved July 7, 2022, from https://theattractiongame.com/how-to-be-more-mysterious/
Zeigler-Hill, V., & Myers, E. M. (2011). An Implicit Theory of Self-Esteem: The Consequences of Perceived Self-Esteem for Romantic Desirability. Evolutionary Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1177/147470491100900202