Have you ever wondered if you actually act your age?
Immature people find it difficult to interact with people. They also tend to react to situations inappropriately, with mannerisms that may resemble a child more than an adult.
Here are some signs that you, or someone you know, may not be mature.
You delay hard conversations
Do you hate difficult conversations, always finding ways to avoid them?
Many people fear the unknown. But in the face of hard conversations, an immature person may joke around, act dismissive, or find excuses to delay them from actually tackling it. They may find it too overwhelming or have difficulty articulating their feelings.
Emotionally immature people are perfectly content ignoring a problem and pretending it’s not there. This can lead to adverse effects, like emotional repression or friends questioning you. A mature person is comfortable in their own skin – trusting themselves to handle tough conversations the best way they can.
It’s always about you
Do you dominate the conversation and only talk about yourself?
Talking over the other person with no regard whatsoever for what they have to say can be a sign of narcissism. Being a narcissist is a sign of immaturity since your belief, or lack thereof, is only about you and your needs. In the eyes of a narcissist and immature person, no one else counts.
If you bully and hurt others to get your way, then there’s also a chance that you’re highly immature.
You become defensive
Are you always in defensive mode when someone questions you? Do you blame others for faults that are actually your own?
If someone questions you, you may feel viciously attacked, even if the other person meant well. You may have difficulty differentiating your ideas from your self-worth. When your ideals are questioned, you can’t help but defend yourself even if the other person may be right.
A mature person, on the other hand, keeps an open mind at all times. They wouldn’t take things personally. They may even encourage others to bring in opposing ideas.
You’re not self-aware
Do you think that you lack self-awareness?
People who aren’t mature have trouble understanding parts of themselves. This can show when there’s a disconnect between your actions to your own internal standards. You may be pleasing others but overlooking what actually matters to you, or you avoid getting feedback or advice from others.
According to organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich, only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware. While that number seems bleak, changing oneself to be more self-aware is possible. Self-aware people don’t brood and self-reflecting, but they notice their biases and act towards what they really want to achieve.
You avoid responsibility
Do you distance yourself from people to avoid responsibility?
Emotionally immature people don’t go near people, not out of introversion, but because they can’t deal with the thought of seeing others. You feel that you have to avoid others to protect yourself from negative emotions, like disappointment and anxiety. But by doing this, you’re also restricting your own freedom and making it harder to come out of the rut as time moves forward.
Was it a classmate that hurt you in the past? Did your parents scold you after you opened up to them? Try to find the root cause of your avoidant tendencies, as tackling this core problem can help you achieve a healthier way of living.
You don’t own up to your mistakes
Are you someone who feels like you’re never wrong?
Emotionally immature people tend to be self-centered. When something that they’ve planned didn’t go their way and affected others, instead of apologizing, they’d find ways to blame others instead. They tend to have an inflated ego and are always in denial of their wrongdoings.
Mature people, on the other hand, understand that mistakes are normal. If you’ve been perfect your whole life, you may have limited experiences that prevent you from truly growing beyond your comfort zone. They think of them like battle scars – painful at the start, but still a crucial part of who they are.
Do you relate to any of the signs above? Comment down below if there are more signs of an immature person that we have missed.
That’s all for now, Psych2Goers!
Eurich, T. Jan 4, 2018. What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). Harvard Business Review. Retrieved at https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
Heitier, S. Mar 4, 2016. Can You Spot 10 Signs of a Childish Adult? Retrieved at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult
WebMD (nd) What Is Emotional Immaturity? Retrieved at https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-a-emotional-immaturity
Brennan, D. Nov 17, 2020. Commitment Phobia: Symptoms and Signs. Retrieved at https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/commitment-phobia-symptoms-signs
Lamothe, C.Mar 30, 2020. How to Recognize and Deal with Emotional Immaturity. Retrieved at https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-immaturity#characteristics
Ratowski, J. n.d. Causes and Cures for Commitment Phobia Retrieved at https://www.bayviewtherapy.com/single-post/causes-and-cures-for-commitment-phobia