Have you ever broke things off in your relationship for only a couple weeks, months, or even years to pass to find all along they wanted to get back together?
Maybe this is in your favor, perhaps you want to repair things with your ex and get back together as well. If you had known they felt the same way, you could have talked through your problems earlier and have been together.
Or, maybe you don’t want to get back together. If you had seen the signs they were still interested in you before, you could have made things clear to them that things wouldn’t be able to work out again.
So, here are some signs your ex still has feelings for you, and wants you back.
1. You Receive Drunk Phone Calls and/or Texts from Them
You’re resting cozy in your bed, settled down after a long and busy day, when suddenly your phone lights up. You reach over to find a new text from – guess who?
Uh oh, your ex.
Turns out their 3 AM texts may be more than just a drunk stupor. Their drunk texts show they’re thinking of you, and being under the influence just gives them more courage to express what they’re really feeling.
According to a study in 2011, the most common reason people make drunken phone calls is to confess their feelings, especially those of love.
Odds are, those feelings they expressed in their drunken calls are true. They simply had more confidence to express them to you while drunk. Confident enough to confess their unconditional love for you through slurred speech and hiccups… at 3 AM.
2. They Mirror You and Show Open Body Language
Often times, when we mimic another’s behavior and gestures, it means we like them. This mimicry of others is called the chameleon effect.
It’s not always when we admire someone or are attracted to them. We mimic other’s behavior and expressions unintentionally depending on our current social environment.
As I mentioned previously in my article: “6 Behaviors That Make Someone Chase You, Backed by Psychological Research”, mimicking others can be a way to show to another you like them.
As I’ve said before, people like people like themselves! Boy, that was a tongue twister.
If your ex is still showing very open body language, holding eye contact, and mimicking your behaviors as well, it could be a sign he subconsciously still has feelings for you.
3. They Often Bring Up Fond Shared Memories
Let’s say you meet up with your ex, or run into them at a bar, what do you two talk about?
If you find your ex continuously bringing up all the good ole times and recollecting fond memories you shared while together, it could be a hint that he not only misses the moments spent with you, but in turn, misses you as well.
Them highlighting the good times you spent together is them trying to get you to remember what made your relationship work, what was great about the both of you.
Why would they want to do this? Perhaps, they want you to remember what was great about you two so they can try to win you back.
4. Sober Texts and Phone Calls
Okay, so we talked about drunk calling and texting you at 3 AM, but what about if he talks to you often while sober?
Yes, some couples can still be friends after a breakup, but if you find yourself talking to them more than your other buddies, maybe you’re… more than buddies.
Or at least, heading there.
Your ex may be trying to reconnect with you as a friend first before trying to get back together. If you work as friends, and were once attracted to each other, what’s to stop you from getting together in the future?
5. They Asks Others: “How Are They Doing?”
If you hear from your family and friends that your ex has been asking about you, there may be good reason.
Odds are your ex is trying to find out your relationship status, – maybe you don’t post everything to social media? – or more likely, they are trying to gauge if you still miss them or not.
If your friends and family tell them that you do miss them, don’t be surprised if they come knocking on your door in hopes of a reconciliation.
6. Liking and Commenting More on Your Social Media
If you and your ex decide to be friends after a breakup, you may comment and like each other’s posts on social media. But, if you find your ex is commenting more than they did when you were together, it may mean they’re throwing some hints at you.
Those hints? If they’re complimenting your social media posts, it may mean they want to be more than ‘just friends’.
7. They’re Taking Action to Change, and They’re Letting You Know
Maybe your relationship didn’t work out because of some conflicting behaviors, and so maybe the only way you can both make it work, is if one of you makes some changes for the better.
If your ex is taking sudden action after your breakup, and making some noticeable changes in their life that draw you in, maybe he’s making those changes so suddenly because of you.
This is especially true if your ex is going out of his way to let you know they’ve changed. Maybe they’re posting on social media about their personal growth, maybe they’re texting you ‘as a friend’ that they’ve improved on their bad habits that once drove a wedge in your relationship.
Whatever way, if they’re changing, and they want you to know first and foremost, it may be a sign they’re doing it for you.
So, have you noticed any of these signs in your ex? Let us know in the comments! Perhaps you’ve noticed some of these signs in yourself…
Written by Michal Mitchell
- Ferris, Amber & Hollenbaugh, Erin. (2012). Drinking and dialing: An exploratory study of why college students make cell phone calls while intoxicated. Ohio Communication Journal. 49. 103-126.
- Navilon, Genefe. “10 Blaring and Genuine Signs He Wants You Back but Won’t Admit It.” Hack Spirit, 1 June 2020, hackspirit.com/10-blaring-and-genuine-signs-he-wants-you-back-but-wont-admit-it/.
- “10 Definite Signs Your Ex Wants You Back (But Won’t Admit It).” Her Way, 14 May 2020, herway.net/relationship/signs-ex-wants-back-desperately/.
- Chartrand, T. L., & Bargh, J. A. (1999). The chameleon effect: The perception–behavior link and social interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(6), 893–910. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3518.104.22.1683