7 Ways You Can Start Over
Sometimes, we’re afraid to let go because we forget that starting over is an option. New Year’s is just right around the corner and it’s culturally popular to get into the groove of creating resolutions, buy cute journals to keep track of our goals, and start a gym membership. But, starting over doesn’t have to be as glamorous or excessive as we often make it out to be. Sometimes, it can start from a simple state of mind. We want to remind you that it’s not too late to still go after the life you want. Psych2Go shares with you 7 ways you can start over:
1. Realize that starting over isn’t synonymous to redeeming from your failures.
This is a healthy mindset to adapt because it would be unproductive to beat yourself up over the mistakes and failures you’ve made. When you start over, you’re creating a new beginning for yourself. Don’t feel obligated to bring baggage from the past with you. That defeats the purpose of why you want to head into a new direction. Obsessing over your losses will only deter you from making progress.
2. Disconnect for a while and ask yourself what you really want.
When we’re constantly connected to a busy work and social life with coworkers, friends and family, it can make it difficult to figure out what is bothering us when we don’t feel fulfilled. Getting away for a while so you have time to see the bigger picture can do wonders. Unplug, turn off your electronic devices, and embrace nature. Finding a sense of peace within you can help you tap into your greatest needs and desires. The greatest awakening I had was when I hiked in the mountains of Hong Kong three years ago. I went through a complete transformation within just one month when I did some soul searching. It was the most intense period in my life because I took a lot of risks. I learned that starting over was not only okay, but essential for my wellbeing.
3. Recycle what has worked in the past.
You don’t necessarily have to discard everything in order to start over. For every bad experience, there is something valuable to take with you. Perhaps you failed your driver’s test or your job interview didn’t go as planned. You can use those experiences as learning lessons to make wiser decisions next time. Rather than just focusing on the disastrous end result, you can ask yourself, “What worked? What did I like? What would I never do again?” When you make time to reflect and take the good parts with you, they can help you start on the right foot again.
4. Switch from being reactive to being more proactive.
It’s so easy to dwell on things when you allow your reactions to get the best of you. Instead of being quick to criticize or sulk over troublesome situations, you can adapt a more resilient approach and focus on ways to clear your headspace of unproductive thoughts. Finding the calm within a storm is key and shifting your thinking towards proactivity will make a drastically beneficial impact on your life. Once you get into the habit of exercising healthier behavior, you’ll start to feel lighter.
5. Expect fear and setbacks, but don’t allow them to drive you.
It’s normal to be afraid or anxious when you’re about to start a new job, establish a new relationship, or move to a new place. But, it’s important to recognize that your fears and uncertainties aren’t an accurate depiction of the outcome that hasn’t happened yet. Rather than growing fearful of what may come next, embrace the unknown and think about how far you’ve come to take this brave, new leap.
6. Realize that the future isn’t determined by your past, but rather based on the actions you take now.
When you reach the end of something, it can be scary. But in retrospect, you may realize it was probably for the best. Perhaps you quit a job or experienced a relationship breakup. It’s okay to mourn over these losses, but when you’re ready to accept what happened and understand why those circumstances didn’t work out, pick yourself up and give something new a try. Just because something didn’t work out in the past, doesn’t mean it’s bound to happen again in the future. Part of starting over means being receptive to new opportunities you can take.
7. Get excited about something and give yourself a chance at real happiness.
Starting over doesn’t have to be as serious as hitting the gym to get fit or driving yourself to do better in your career. Sometimes, it can be about letting loose, whether that means going on more adventures or having fun. You have to be honest to yourself about what makes you happy and go after what is outside your comfort zone. Things are bound to get messy every once in a while, but in between all the heartbreaks, downfalls, and tragedies, there’s always a moment you can look back on and laugh.
Let’s all grab a blank slate and forge ahead! How do you want to start over? Psych2Go would love to hear your thoughts! Please be sure to leave a comment down below!
References:
Davenport, B. (2017). How To Start Over In Life: 10 Ways To Reinvent Yourself. Live Bold & Bloom. Retrieved December 21, 2017.
Goldsmith, B. (2010, January 17). 10 Ways and Reasons You Can Start Over. Psychology Today. Retrieved December 21, 2017.
How to Disappear Completely and Start a New Life. (2017). Lifehack. Retrieved December 21, 2017.
Redrick, M. (2014, December 9). How to Start Over Without Regret. HuffPost. Retrieved December 21, 2017.
A very timely article! Your tips are definitely right on time for the new year. I personally enjoy a fresh start at the beginning of the year and on my birthday.
I love how you included a personally transformative experience in point 2. It may serve as encouragement for others to take on similar experiences.
For clarity purposes, the sentence in point 3 that reads “Perhaps you failed your driver’s test or your job interview didn’t go so well as planned.” may be clearer if written ” Perhaps you failed your driver’s test or your job interview didn’t go as planned”.
The thing I love most about the way your article is written is that it balances encouragement about pursuing the excitement and energy that comes with new beginnings and trying new things with practical advice about letting go of past mistakes and unhealthy expectations.
Hi Valencia, thanks as always for reading. =) That was a great suggestion you recommended! I went ahead and clarified point 3. I’m glad you thought the article balances encouragement and pursuing excitement. I’m definitely trying to still figure that out myself with 2018 just around the corner, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, so I’m going to make time my friend, rather than trying to work against it. =) Happy New Year!
Tomorrow is the first day of my new life. I am moving to the opposite side of the nation as well as giving a relationship a shot. Being a jack of many trades is opening the door for me in several new jobs as well as a few I have fulfilled in the past. This article has come to me in the most perfect time because I have been feeling a little anxiety thus have been pondering if I am doing the right thing. Though I have lived near the area where I am headed before, I moved because things were not going right. So here I am, getting ready to head back to nearly the same area. I have been telling myself that I will not be doing the same kind of work, that I will be in a larger city and surrounded by many people I have desired getting to know, and many other things such as this. I felt like I was trying to make excuses for making a wrong decision even though I have been wanting to move back for months now. This information has reaffirmed my decision to move back and taken away my jitters. I realize now it is normal to feel this anxiety and perhaps now I have the knowledge of knowing it is okay to be ecstatic and optimistic while carrying out this new beginning. Thanks so much. Now I can embrace this adventure.
Hi Mark, thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. =) Wow, sounds like you have a lot ahead of you! It’s interesting how things come full circle when you least expect them to, right? Sometimes, going back to a familiar environment is what we might need for growth. You’ll be a different person than you were before, so you might see, notice, and experience different things that you might have missed before.
I think it’s normal to make excuses for ourselves when we’re not confident with a decision we make or don’t feel ready to confront a certain kind of reality that comes with it, but the important thing is to keep running forward with it and own up to our fears as honestly as possible. Otherwise, we’ll just run away instead. But, it sounds like moving back has been something you’ve been wanting to do, so don’t allow guilt or other reasons to beat yourself up.
It is absolutely normal to feel anxiety. =) I think you’re doing great so far and I wish you luck on your next adventure! Happy New Year!
this article reminds me of a linkedin thought piece I read the other day “I am quitting my career to start my life.”
I think it’s invaluable to distinguish between what you want out of life and where you have been pushed to go.
i have been driven to be succesful. I only need to distinguish what that means to society from what that means to me. When I was little all I wished for was to be happy.
Hi Rachael, thanks as always for reading. =) Hm, interesting, I’ll have to read this LinkedIn piece. I l generally love reading and writing motivational articles. I agree with your thoughts about distinguishing what you want out of life and what society often tells us to do. It’s so easy to get swayed by public opinions and standards when they’re everywhere. But, it’s even more empowering when we know when to walk away and forge a path on our own. =)
[…] why not actively work on making them a reality? If it’s the challenges, downfalls, and fear of starting over that give you anxiety, know that it’s okay to feel scared and uncertain, but try not to let that […]
While the content here is commendable, this piece is so poorly written and worded it’s actually hard to follow. Ambiguous pronoun references abound, among other muddiness. Does the author actually write for a living?
I’m very grateful for this article. Early this year (2018), I had a major life change: I lost my job, my relationships crumbled and I had to move back home because of health issues. Basically my life as I knew if for many years was over. It was a devastating blow for me, and it really felt like I’d lost everything. I had no money, no job, no friends, and was back home, feeling like I was back to zero. But after a while, I started to settle into my new reality and realizing that this also meant that I could start over completely, and this time, go after what I really wanted. I had to admit to myself that many of the things I lost were things I didn’t really want: I didn’t really like that job I had, or those relationships, or the lifestyle I had. It hurt to lose all of it, but it was also liberating to not have these things anymore that truthfully weren’t what I really wanted. I had been so afraid to go after what I really wanted, that I held on to what I could get, even if I didn’t like it. Once all that was gone, I felt free to build a new life based on more authentic and caring views of myself. As 2018 closes, I am determined to build a new life based on who I really am and what I really want! 🙂