In response to one of our more popular video on signs you’ve ticked off an introvert, we thought we respect extroverts as well by creating an article!
When you are looking through an extrovert or an introvert ‘window’ or even that of an ambivert, it can be tricky to see if someone is angry at you.
There’s a lot of information out there on introversion, but we also want to pay attention to extroversion. Of course you are not out to piss extroverts off, but it can be trickier to tell when you’ve pissed an extrovert off. When you are looking through the ‘window’ of an extrovert or an introvert, or even an ambivert, it can be tricky to gauge when someone is pissed off or not. These are 10 signs that could indicate an extroverted person you know is pissed off at you.
We’ll be referring to ‘the extrovert’ – not because they are some otherwordly species (they are not, they are just individuals who get more energy from being around others) – for the sake of neutrality.
The Extrovert suddenly seems less bubbly, less extroverted.
Extroverts do not (always) show their anger in the way you expect, perhaps especially if you look at it from the perspective of a non-extrovert, such as an introvert or an ambivert. You might expect an extrovert to be very vocal about being pissed off. While that does happen of course, it is actually more common for them to become less extroverted. When they are angry, many extroverts told us, they tend to become calmer, less extroverted because they are occupied with the thing they are angry about.
“I think the extroverts main feature has always been our outgoing personality. So when someone ticks you off, you take that away. You won’t hear from me. You won’t get invited to all the events I plan. And if someone mentions you, I just ignore it. None of my energy goes to that person. Just switch off.” – anonymous
An extrovert is still extroverted, but their extroversion suddenly seems a bit off, a bit robotic or unnatural. They pretend everything is okay.
Some other extroverts told us that they tend to stay extroverted, and try to pretend everything is okay. When this happens, however, it results in a slightly robotic air around their behaviour, because it is costing energy to force themselves to be extroverted when they are actually not feeling like it.
“I force myself to pretend everything is okay until I can let of steam somewhere, but I think they notice something’s off.” – Ethan
They might refuse to make eye contact with you, and look down to avoid your gaze.(please help us find the right credit for this photograph)
The extrovert’s response…
While they are normally quite happy to engage in personal contact, as that is how extroverts tend to re-energize themselves, they tend to like it less when angry. Even if it is not specifically you they’re angry at, short responses can indicate something is the matter.
“I just fall back to one word response if someone asks me anything.” – Josh
An extrovert (suddenly) wants to hang out less with you than with other people.
However, when it seems specifically aimed at you, you might want to retrace your (social) steps. What could have happened that they do not want to hang out with you but do want to hang out with others? Is it something they have done and feel guilty about, or could it be that you accidentally said something they interpreted negatively?
“I might avoid them a little.” – anonymous
An extrovert is in a group having a good time, but they seem colder when they notice you.
When we asked extroverts, many said that they got cold towards the person they’re angry about. Many said this was because they do not want to let it affect their mood towards the others. So they’ll be as normal as possible to the others, but might act a little different towards the person they’re angry about. “I’m quiet and broody when I’m pissed off. Which is odd because I’m a loud and outgoing person usually, but when I’m really really REALLY pissed off, I’m dead silent. I also tend to distance myself? And if the person goes up to me, I’m cold and indifferent.” – anonymous
Especially when they are an extrovert who usually enjoys small talk, the absence of small talk is a ‘good’ sign that there’s something off.
Many that identify as extrovert, when pissed off, stop initiating conversation with others. Either they wait more to be talked to, or stop talking in general. They go a bit quiet. “If I’m only a little bit annoyed I might snap or generally be short with them, but I won’t yell. I might just turn my attention away from them.” – anonymous
The extrovert stops talking.
When they are angry those who identify as extrovert can also shut down. They’ll say as little as possible or nothing at all. One word answers are a sign that tells you that they’re pissed off. Also, it can be sign that you might be better off just leaving them alone for a while.
“When someone has pissed me off a little bit I will yell at them, but when I’m really hurt I go silent towards them.” – anonymous
They won’t smile
Of course, extroverted doesn’t mean they are happy all the time, we all have ups and downs. When an extrovert is pissed off, it can show in the frequency of smiles. They’re outgoing-ness is diminished by their negative emotions, and that’s why they’ll smile less. This can happen to one particular person, or might happen in their general behavior.
“I stop smiling and get very short when people try to ask me what’s the matter.” – anonymous
They avoid company or conversation.
Some also told us that when they are angry they tend to avoid people, which is (generally speaking) against what extroverts tend to do to gain energy.
“It usually shows by me becoming real quiet and avoiding a conversation. I seem to back off and try to avoid conflict, not wanting to draw that kind of attention towards me.” – anonymous
They, the extrovert that is, do not return your calls.
When you call or text them about what is wrong, they either stay offline or leave you on read.
You’d be better off approaching them at another moment.Even though extroverts usually love being around people more than introverts, as this doesn’t cost them as much energy, when they are angry they might just rather be alone. That’s why they won’t answer your messages as much
“I don’t answer the phone when I’m pissed off. I don’t want to be angry at them. I’ll just cool off for a while and come back online when I feel like talking to them again.” – anonymous