So, you got a crush, don’t you?
Well, well, well… – yOu’Ve cOMe To ThE RIgHt pLAcE!
I’ve written a ton of articles on the psychology of dating. My PhD in romance should be arriving in the mail any second now.
Now, if you have a crush, you might be wondering how to get them to notice you. (See my article “6 Behaviors That Make Someone Chase You, Backer by Psychological Research” for tips my friend.)
You may also be wondering: how on earth will I know if they like me back?
You know, if you’re too chicken to ask em?
You could… just ask them…
But! If you don’t want to, or maybe it’s in the very early stages of crushing – is that a thing? Crushing?
Then I have ten body language signs to help you figure out if your crush indeed crushes you as much as you crush them.
…Jesus. Crushing? Is that a thing? Sounds violent.
Chew ice instead, friends.
2. They Exhibit Open Body Language
Open body language is a fantastic way to tell if someone likes you. This doesn’t always mean in a romantic way. But hey, if someone likes you enough to be their friend, they may like you enough to be more than friends if ya know what I’m sayin?
No? Yes? Okay moving on.
If someone is sitting in a relaxed, open position, or perhaps talks openly with their hands, they may subconsciously be showing they like you!
Closed off behaviors such as keeping your arms crossed, holding your beverage, phone, or glass in front of your body, or keeping your legs crossed and body stiff, can all be signs someone just, perhaps isn’t feeling it today. Or worse, they aren’t feelin you.
2. They Keep Eye Contact
People tend to keep eye contact when they like someone. While this isn’t always the case – some people can be shy or not like the intensity of eye contact – generally people who like each other romantically, will want to meet each other’s gaze.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the classic: ‘catching-someone-staring-at-you-and-quickly-looking-away’. Yes, from across the room you may catch your crush staring at you, only to quickly turn away and blush, but I’m also talking about mid-conversation as well.
If your crush likes you, they’ll show they’re hanging on your every word by keeping eye contact.
They may also just be getting lost in your dream eyes…
Pfft! Forget about Ryan Gosling. Your eyes are an ocean…
3. They ‘Mirror’ You
Have you ever found yourself adopting someone else’s gestures or movements at a party or social setting? It’s not that you consciously intended it, – and hey! Maybe you did! – but yet here you are raising your pursed fingers in the air talking about Mario’s famous Italian pizza! (Finger pursing, activate!)
This psychological phenomenon is called the ‘chameleon effect’ and was explored in further studies. Turns out, we tend to subconsciously mimic other peoples behavior in certain settings. That is, if we like them.
…Or want to be like them.
PUT THE LOTION ON THE SKIN!
People seem to like people like themselves!
So, next time you catch your crush mimicking your gestures, or classic phrases, or dance moves, they may like you as much as you like them.
Or they really like dancing and want to learn from you as a teacher.
4. They Expose Their Neck or Wrists
People tend to open up to people they like and subconsciously show their weakest spots.
Sound kinda creepy, but it’s not.
When we don’t like someone, we may become defensive and close ourselves up with our body language. But, like opening up our body language, we may expose vulnerable parts of our body like our neck or wrists, to show we trust someone.
We can look to Marilyn Monroe’s classic neck tilting pose for inspiration. People may stroke their neck and tilt their head in interest to show they like you. Showing their hands, and not hiding them away in their pockets, leaves another vulnerable part of their body – their wrists – open for attack!
So don’t be a mountain lion or anything and attack the poor person. Ask em out already!
5. They Give You Genuine Smiles
Everyone knows the polite smiles. I’m not talking about those.
I’m talking about a full-blown, genuine smile.
Now, they may be shy and try to hide their full smile (hint hint! Whispers: It’s because they like you!)
But often times, when someone is having a good time around someone they like, they will let their teeth show when they break into a smile.
If their cheeks are up to their eyes around you, they may just like you too.
6. They Lean Forward
If your crush leans forward and towards you often when they talk with you, they may just fancy you!
They not only want to hear what you have to say, but they want to be close to you too! And make sure what they say is heard.
This closeness brings the relationship a step further than just good acquaintances or casual friends.
7. They Act Nervous and Squirm Around in Their Chair
When someone has a crush on someone, we tend to get nervous. We may giggle, or squirm, or play with our hair. We may shuffle in our seat, or perhaps we can’t sit still for a moment.
Now this is good news! It means your crush likes you!
Or… That they really need to pee.
You don’t want your crush to look uncomfortable though. This could be a sign they need to pee as well.
Not lookin too good my friend, not lookin too good.
As long as genuinely smile and look comfortable, they may just be figetting in their chair so much, because they are nervous to be around someone they like.
You’re just a cutie, aren’t you?
8. They Don’t Clutch Their Purse or Phone, In Front of Them
Similar to open body language, but I wanted to highlight this one. This mainly is a sign to tell if woman like you, but it could work for men too.
If you catch your crush in the hall, or on your way out of a building, and they have their purse with them, pay close attention.
Are they clutching their purse in front of them? Or are they opening their body and slinging their purse around their shoulder and behind them?
This is a subconscious habit people tend to exhibit to show whether or not they like someone.
If they put a barrier between the two of you, like their purse or phone, they may not want to get close with you – emotionally and physically.
But, if that purse or backpack is swung over their shoulder when you arrive, they may just have their eyes set on you.
9. They Reach Out to Touch You
People want to be close to the people they like. It’s just common sense.
And what brings people closer? Not only in a relationship but literally as well? Touching. If someone you are friends with is now throwing their arm around you, or running into your arms for a friendly embrace, they may just be getting closer to you as friends.
But, if an acquaintance is finding a reason to get closer to you, they may be interested. Just make sure you’re both comfortable around each other. Remember to look out for that warning sign of closed off body language!
So if you’re at a party and one of the people in your group keeps subtly (or not subtly) putting their hand on your shoulder, innocently bumping into you accidentally (or not accidentally) or finding other ways to get closer to you, they likely like you!
Ooh, a tongue twister. Say that three times.
Likely like you! Likely like you! Likely like you!
10. Their Tone of Voice is Higher and Comfortable
Our tone of voice is an easy way to tell how someone is feeling. We sometimes can’t control it!
Women generally tend to raise their voice a few pitches naturally around someone they like. This isn’t always the case.
But, if your new friend keeps calling you buddy in a low tone while giving you a friendly pat on the back, odds are, you’re just their buddy.
People tend to relax and get comfortable once they’re already in the conversation with the person they like. Remember, people can be nervous around their crush. So at first, your crush may like you but sound a bit nervous. As long as they are still open to getting to know you, see if their tone of voice changes from the ‘oh snap-oh snap-oh snap my crush is here’ tone, to the comfortable tone they have when they are intrigued by someone.
Our tone of voice can have many meanings if we notice them. How does your crushes voice change when they’re around you specifically?
Hopefully they’ll burst out into J.S. Bach’s Ária da corda sol, or another soprano opera performance when they see you next. – Or perhaps Solitude? In E minor??
Yeah! E minor! Alright! Yeah!
Written by Michal Mitchell
Also check out my article: “6 Psychological Tricks That Can Make Anyone Fall for You“
- Edwards, Vanessa Van. “How to Be More Attractive: 7 Rules to Increase Attraction.” Science of People, 19 July 2020, www.scienceofpeople.com/attraction/.
- Guilbeault, Lauren. “What Are The Different Types Of Body Language Attraction?” Regain, ReGain, 28 July 2018, www.regain.us/advice/attraction/what-are-the-different-types-of-body-language-attraction/.