10 Uncomfortable Advice in Life That Will Make You Stronger
Hey, Psych2goers!
Welcome to another article.
Today, we will be talking about some uncomfortable pieces of advice that may resonate.
Have you ever done something you regret a lot?
Are you stuck in a relationship that’s burning you out?
Do you sometimes wish you were a whole different person?
Sometimes, the things you experience can feel like it’s too much for a single human being to handle, and you may have already realized that there’s only so much you can do about it – but let’s face it, it’s only in the face of difficulty that you realize your growth.
This article won’t contain a lot of sweet words. Rather, it’s time for plain honesty.
Here are 10 uncomfortable pieces of advice in life that will make you stronger.
FRIENDLY DISCLAIMER: This video is for educational purposes and is heavily based on personal opinions. It is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. Please don’t forget to listen to yourself as well as your intuition to determine what best fits your needs.
1. Life is long.
This may have caught you out of the blue, but it’s true.
You’ve probably heard the term “Life is short” too much. Maybe you’ve even grown tired of it!
So let’s switch it up a little.
Once you take the time to reflect, there is plenty – maybe even too much – time to do a lot of things.
How do you choose to spend your days?
Are you often bored?
Are you super busy?
Life is generally long, in fact, “globally, life expectancy has increased by more than 6 years between 2000 and 2019.” (World Health Organization, n.d.)
So when the time comes you get to the last stage of your lifetime, do you think you’ll feel like you’ve had a life worth living?
Or will you feel like you’ve wasted it despite the number of chances it gave you?
Start being mindful.
Make mistakes – make a LOT of mistakes.
Life is too long for you to get stuck on something that takes up only a third of it.
Take your time, but don’t give up on doing what you truly want. If you really must, do it after you’ve tried your best.
2. Don’t excuse a cheater.
Have you ever experienced being cheated on?
Do you have a friend whose heart was torn apart because their partner cheated on them?
Are you thinking of giving a second chance to a cheater?
According to a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, someone who has cheated before is 3x more likely to cheat again in their next relationship.
Cheating hurts. So whether you’re in a current relationship with a cheater or are considering being in a relationship with someone who has cheated before, it’s essential to know what you’re getting into.
And frankly, it’s not worth it.
Although there are situations wherein cheaters don’t commit the same mistake again, it doesn’t really excuse the pain and betrayal they’ve done.
Save yourself from anxiety, chronic stress, and even depression.
Really try to think before giving a second chance to a cheater.
But in the end, there are always two sides to a story, so if you are a person who has committed this mistake before and want to make peace with it, comment down below for a part 2 article on How to make peace with your past mistakes.
3. You can do your best and still end up disappointed.
Have you ever made a big life change only for it to end up flopping?
Do you have a moment where you’re so confident about something happening and it just doesn’t?
How many times have you tried your best and ended up with a broken heart?
As a human, you’re born to have hope.
“According to Snyder et al. (1991) hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals” (Houston, 2022).
And naturally, when you fail to meet them, you end up with sadness and a lack of motivation.
Usually, people stop at this point.
When you fail to meet your expectations, you might think it’s just better to not set any at all (or settle for lower ones).
It’s fine to give yourself time to be disappointed. Whether it’s a week or a month – give yourself the rest it deserves.
But never stop yourself from dreaming.
Once you understand that life is open to a series of disappointments, you can now realize that there really is no way but up.
Do things that make you feel strong, empowered, and successful, even if it ends differently than what you imagined.
Most of the time, the lesson is in the journey.
What did it make you realize?
Are you still the same person you were five years ago?
Being disappointed in something means you’ve tried your best, and that truly counts for something.
4. There is no best choice.
What if I did this?
What if I never did that?
Did I make the right choice?
Too many hours in your life have probably been spent overthinking your previous actions.
It’s good to regularly reflect, but do your previous actions eat you up inside?
Do you feel like you could’ve done better?
The thing is, you’ll never know. You won’t identify the answer now, and you probably still won’t identify it no matter how much you overthink in the future.
There is just no best choice.
It’s easy to get lost in regret and the feeling of “Ugh! I should’ve done that!” but in the end, it’s time to make peace and let go.
You will make more mistakes.
You will mentally beat yourself up for saying the wrong thing.
And that’s just how it is. It’s how you learn, so don’t be too harsh on yourself and try to understand what that moment teaches you.
A life where you only make the right choices is a life where you can’t relate to others, become mature in mindset, and understand loss.
5. Someone is always ahead of you.
Have you ever been jealous of someone’s good looks?
Have you imagined yourself in another person’s body?
Do you wish you possessed someone’s talent or fame?
There will always be someone better than you.
And it’s time to accept that.
Just as how you may get jealous of others, other people may also get jealous of you.
You’re probably the reason they get insecure, anxious, and upset, thinking “Why don’t I have their life?”.
Jealousy creates a negative chain of reactions, so instead of focusing energy on other people, try channeling it into yourself.
Rather than thinking of ways to be like someone or be better than them, try thinking:
How can I become a better version of the current me?
Frankly, you really have no other choice but to own your life.
So might as well make the most of it.
You have so much untapped potential, and it’s either you haven’t realized it yet, or are choosing not to do anything about it.
6. If you’re second-guessing a relationship, you probably shouldn’t be in it.
Are you in a relationship where you’re constantly on the lookout for better possible partners?
Do you regularly ask yourself if you went in it with the right mindset?
Do you feel like you’re with someone who doesn’t fit your standards?
If you spend a lot of time second-guessing a relationship, it probably isn’t a good idea to be in it.
Before committing to something or someone, try looking at it from every angle.
What do you feel for this person?
What type of relationship are you going for?
Are you willing to compromise with them?
Are you ready for a long-term commitment?
It’s through answering questions like these that you begin to understand the extent of what you feel.
You begin doubting the relationship if it’s not meeting your needs, so take your time, don’t rush, and most of all, don’t lower your standards.
7. You can’t save everyone.
Even Superman can’t.
Do you immediately rush to someone who seems to need help?
Do you feel other people’s struggles as if it’s your own?
Have you ever done your best to help someone and ended up being hurt or disappointed?
No matter how much you try to help someone or change them for the better, they won’t do it or receive the help unless they want to.
This may be difficult on your part, especially if you’re an empath or if you care a lot for that person.
There is only so much you can offer. The rest of it is beyond your hands.
It’s not bad to be a helpful person, but it helps to understand that it doesn’t always turn out for the better.
Some people may lash out at you, and others may not appreciate your efforts at all.
So if it’s doing you more harm than good in the long run, it may be time to cut off those people.
8. Put money first.
Have you ever faced a pressing financial problem?
Do you know severely money-driven people?
Have you ever wished you had a lot of money to buy all the things you want?
Money makes the world go around.
It’s the reason behind a lot of problems, yet somehow, it’s also the solution for almost all of them.
Money is a necessity. That’s why it needs to be a priority.
It’s easy to say you don’t care about money, but a lot of times, it’s just because you have it.
That’s why you shouldn’t take it for granted and why you should take advantage of the time and resources you have to make it.
Be smart, budget properly, and find ways to earn money through your skills.
Money can do a lot of things, so it’s important to acknowledge its worth and avoid being greedy. Balance is key.
9. Betrayals will happen.
Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Do you have friends who suddenly changed overnight?
Did a loved one do something to make you second-guess their intentions?
Betrayals happen, and they can happen quickly.
Sometimes, even the person you trust the most won’t be by your side the next day.
It can be really painful, especially when you have no clue why they did it in the first place.
There are a lot of factors why someone would choose to betray the people they know.
They could have been careless, jealous, greedy, or something else.
So it’s good to be aware of these things because you’ll never know when it happens.
Try not to trust someone too quickly and be careful who you let into your circle.
10. Duration doesn’t dictate a relationship’s state.
Are you staying in a long-term relationship for nothing other than convenience?
Do you feel like you’ve invested too much in someone to just let go?
It’s true that the longer you spend with someone, the harder it is to let go, but it’s not advised to stay in a relationship that’s burning you out day by day.
You may think that you can salvage what you have – that through staying and enduring, you can make things better.
Instead, what likely happens is that you will drain your energy, dedicate unwanted time, and be upset when reminded of bad things that happened in the past.
When a relationship feels more like a burden, it’s probably time to go on separate ways.
It’s certainly not easy, but you have to ask yourself: Are you a better person without them?
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Did this article resonate with you?
Which point hit you the most?
If given the chance, what uncomfortable advice would you give to another person?
We’re interested in your thoughts so please don’t hesitate to comment them down below.
As you may very well know, life is mysterious and unpredictable, and we’re all finding ways to make meaning out of it to make living easier.
Yet despite the countless stories, opinions, and bits of advice, the same pattern repeats itself over and over again.
So here’s one final bonus piece of advice: Live.
Sometimes, when you try to learn too much, you forget to actually apply it – and the best way to learn in life is by going out there, making mistakes, and doing what makes you happy.
Be a dreamer.
Thank you so much for reading. See you next time.
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REFERENCES
10 Uncomfortable Truths About Life. (2021, April 13). A Great Mood. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://agreatmood.com/uncomfortable-truths-about-life/
Awosika, A. (2019, July 23). 9 Uncomfortable Yet Liberating Truths About Life: Accept Them to Permanently Change for the Better –. Ayo, the Author. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from http://ayotheauthor.com/7-uncomfortable-yet-liberating-truths-life-accept-permanently-change-better/
Brian, P. (2022, May 11). Infidelity Statistics (2022): How Much Cheating is Going On? Hack Spirit. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://hackspirit.com/infidelity-statistics/#:%7E:text=As%20stated%2C%20according%20to%20the,from%20its%20past%20miniscule%20amount.
Günel, S. (2022, January 5). 9 Uncomfortable Truths You Should Accept Early in Life. Medium. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://medium.com/personal-growth/9-uncomfortable-truths-you-should-accept-early-in-life-7f61c13afdd1
Houston, E., B. Sc. (2022, May 23). What is Hope in Psychology + 7 Exercises & Worksheets. PositivePsychology.Com. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/hope-therapy/
L’OFFICIEL. (2022, January 21). 22 uncomfortable truths about life that (almost) nobody likes to say – L’OFFICIEL Austria, the latest fashion trends, beauty, accessoires. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://www.lofficiel.at/en/psychology/22-uncomfortable-truths-about-life-that-almost-no-one-wants-to-admit
Makayla. (2019, October 25). Is it True That Once a Cheater Always a Cheater? Encyclopedia.Com. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://www.encyclopedia.com/daily/is-it-true-that-once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater/#:%7E:text=Experts%20say%20no.,again%20in%20their%20next%20relationship.
Moore, M. (2021, October 29). Long-Term Psychological Effects of Infidelity. Psych Central. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://psychcentral.com/health/long-term-psychological-effects-of-infidelity#:%7E:text=Infidelity%20can%20have%20lasting%20impacts,infidelity%20with%20time%20and%20therapy.
Stanley, S., Ph. D. (2017, October 3). 403 Forbidden. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sliding-vs-deciding/201710/is-partner-who-has-cheated-likely-cheat-again
World Health Organization. (n.d.). GHE: Life expectancy and healthy life expectancy. Retrieved May 30, 2022, from https://www.who.int/data/gho/data/themes/mortality-and-global-health-estimates/ghe-life-expectancy-and-healthy-life-expectancy#:%7E:text=Globally%2C%20life%20expectancy%20has%20increased,reduced%20years%20lived%20with%20disability.
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