This is the 72nd story of the Mental Illness Recovery Series. Miranda is a young lady who is still struggling with her mental disorders. This is her story:
Miranda is from Portland, OR and she enjoys the idea of Buddhism / Hinduism, and her favorite animal is an elephant. Her future goal is to become an elementary teacher and five years from now she sees herself in school or doing what she loves to do in another country. Miranda has depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), she but has only received therapy.
Miranda felt many symptoms, she said, “[I had] nightmares daily, I find that there can be gaps in my day where I don’t know what I was doing or thinking. I’ve scared myself because I didn’t remember dying my hair a couple times. Impulsiveness. Splitting on my friends or family. Jumping to the worst conclusion. Feeling like I have no way out other than suicide.” This affected her daily life because sometimes Miranda didn’t have the energy to get out of bed and she relies on others for reassurance. She has self-harmed and sadly has attempted suicide four times.
This has affected and still affects her relationship with others, she said, “I can’t keep friendships afloat without shooting a few holes in it first and frantically trying to fix it.” This makes her feel like no one stays because of the way she is. Miranda colors, smokes, has sex, and listens to music to maintain control. The kids she works with helps her and she also uses awareness. The lesson Miranda learned from this ordeal was to not expect to get back trust and love even when you put it out there.
This is her advice for others going through similar problems:
“I can’t say it gets better, because I haven’t reached that point, but you are worth something to someone, and you are loved even if it doesn’t feel like it. Whether it’s an acquaintance, a friend, your mom, your aunt, grandpa, the love of your life. You are cared for, and would be missed.”
Miranda has a long way to recovery, but hopefully with her determination to feel better she will be able to control better her mental disorders. Help me make a difference by sharing your story. If you or anyone you know needs a safe place to vent out and recieve advice feel free to become a member of the Mental Illness Recovery Series Group on Facebook.