Infatuation vs. Genuine Love – Which One Are You?

You like someone a lot.

It feels like love.

You’re having a difficult time identifying if it’s true and worth pursuing, or just a fleeting moment of infatuation.

But you just like them so much, it’s frustrating.

Are you with the right person?

Are you truly in love?

“Why do I fall in love so easily?”

When you meet someone who seems to be the one, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin.

Big words, right? 

It actually bathes you with pleasure, joy, love, and all the good stuff.

This doesn’t last long. Just around twelve to eighteen months to be exact.

So if you haven’t established a healthy relationship pattern before the feeling wears off, problems are bound to happen.

“So, how do I know the difference?”

You’re right on time.

Here is a list of characteristics found in infatuation vs. genuine love.

Which one are you?

Friendly disclaimer: This video is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This video is not a substitute for professional advice, but general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you.

You think you’re in love even without getting to know their personality.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

This is a common characteristic of infatuation.

Infatuation is more reliant on physical appearances. It makes sense that you see someone so attractive that you can imagine your future house and twelve babies together.

This is a quick outburst of your own fantasy and will most likely crumble at the first sign of something you don’t like.

You fall for them more even after knowing their flaws.

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If you can still look at someone with googly eyes after they burp or fart, it’s most likely a sign of genuine love.

Love takes root in the heart of a person.

This means that you don’t care how they look, because it’s their essence you’ve fallen for, emotionally and spiritually.

Of course, appearances matter to an extent.

But you understand that they aren’t perfect, and so are you.

There will be bad hair days and questionable outfits, but your heart is theirs nonetheless.

You feel like you always have to be perfect around them.

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It’s normal to want to look your best for the person you like or love.

It’s not normal to feel this way the whole 24 hours of the day or even longer.

Do you try to hide your “bad” parts?

Do you only tell them good stories because you’re afraid they will have a bad image of you?

This obsession to stick to a certain fantasy is an indicator of infatuation.

Sometimes, the urge to be perfect all the time is so strong that you may start a habit of lying just to maintain it.

Love will exceed all the parts of you, both good and bad.

It is acceptance. 

That’s why it helps to accept yourself first to understand your worth.

You get more confident about yourself every day you’re with them.

Photo by Bethany Ferr from Pexels

If your partner makes you feel like you are beautiful and enough, it’s most likely true love.

Do you want to be a better person after meeting them?

Do you find yourself doing self-care, exercise, and eating better food options?

Most of all, are you happy being you?

If the answer is yes, they’re a keeper.

Mature partners will love you just the way you are and treat you as their equal.

This gives you space to focus on yourself and what you want to improve.

Nobody is perfect, that’s why patience and understanding are keys to growth.

You can’t see yourself spending your whole life with them.

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It’s easy to imagine a good future with the person you like.

Let’s add problems into the mix.

House bills, gross habits, attitude issues, arguments, vices, etc.

Is it still easy?

Most forms of infatuation develop after intense attraction to the physical appearance of a person.

Realistically, it’s not sustainable and you know it.

Yet why do you feel so strongly for them?

It’s plain neuroscience, and will likely go away after a few weeks or months.

If you’re attracted to a person out of their face and body alone (even after getting to know them), they’re probably not worth the effort.

It may help to start picking up new hobbies or doing things you enjoy as a method of keeping yourself busy.

You feel that distance isn’t an issue in the relationship.

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Long-distance relationships give problems to a lot of couples.

This study reports that 37% of long-distance couples break up within 3 months of becoming geographically close.

However, 60% of couples survive the journey according to a 2018 survey by KIIROO.

You know it’s real when the amount of kilometers between you isn’t an issue.

Your love is just too strong that time away is not an excuse to break up.

Sometimes, this may even cause your feelings of affection to grow stronger.

Genuine love means devotion to one person who you see as a suitable partner for the rest of your life.

So stay strong, and stay in love. 

CONCLUSION

No one has a concrete answer for the definition of love. 

Each person undergoes different experiences that build up their foundations for what they see as genuine.

It never hurts to be careful and examine whether what you’re feeling is true love or just the strong fleeting burn of infatuation.

After all, it’s for the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

What are your thoughts after reading this article?

Do you think you’ve ever fallen in love with someone genuinely? 

When was the last time you were infatuated with someone? 

Please share your experiences in the comment section below. We appreciate hearing about your relationship experiences, romantic or platonic.

Thank you for reading. See you next time!

If you want to read more articles related to this, you can check out:

REFERENCES:

Diffen. (n.d.). Infatuation vs Love. Retrieved August 17, 2021, from https://www.diffen.com/difference/Infatuation_vs_Love

Petersen, R. (2021, July 20). 5 Well-Researched Long-Distance Relationship Statistics (2020 Update). Dating at a Distance. https://datingatadistance.com/long-distance-relationship-statistics/

Restorations Therapy Center. (2019, August 11). True Love vs. Infatuation. https://www.restorationstherapy.com/true-love-vs-infatuation/

Schmall, T. (2018, October 31). Long-distance relationships are more successful than you think. New York Post. https://nypost.com/2018/10/31/long-distance-relationships-are-more-successful-than-you-think/

Stafford, L., Merolla, A., & Castle, J. (2006, December 1). SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class research journals. SAGE Journals. https://journals.sagepub.com/action/cookieAbsent

Yusim, A. (2021, January 5). 5 Ways You Know It’s True Love (Love vs Infatuation). Successible Life. https://successiblelife.com/5-ways-you-know-its-true-love-and-not-just-infatuation/

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