Mental Illness Recovery Series: Story # 87

Hailee is from Augusta Georgia and she enjoys music. She said, “This past week I’ve been in marching band, I love playing my flute and am currently reading the Game of Thrones series.” In five years Hailee should be 3 years into college. She hopes to have good grades. She also said, “I hope to have a social life with a whole bunch of friends I trust and am comfortable around.” Hailee was diagnosed with depression and anxiety for 3 years, there are days she still struggles with it.

Hailee believes her mental disorders were caused by different situations. She said, “A mixture of my life at home, switching between my mom and my dad’s house. It felt like my mom did care for me much and my dad had just moved in with his girlfriend who he spent more time with than me. It wasn’t a good situation. Also I started high school and my grades were dropping. At this point I had two friends and my boyfriend to depend on. I became extremely emotionally dependent on my boyfriend who moved away 1 year ago. And my two friends kind of ignored me and didn’t include me in anything, which also made me feel really bad about myself.” When her mom found out she was cutting, she took Hailee to a family counselor, but unfortunately every time she went the counselor made her feel worse. Hailee convinced her mother to take her to another therapist. She said, “She finally got me into GRU with a really nice therapist. I don’t remember the treatment exactly but we didn’t use antidepressants and worked on my skills to cope with my surroundings.”

She had to battle with various symptoms each day such as feeling useless and unwanted. Hailee hated herself and couldn’t handle it. She wanted to die so much and cried every day. It was a terrible existence. Not only that, but this also affected her daily life. Hailee stopped being social and confident. She said, “I wore pants every day, I have a birthmark on my leg that I didn’t care about until this started.” Sadly, she attempted suicide once and no one found her. She believed if she told her mother, she wouldn’t believe it. Her relationships also became affected, Hailee lost a lot of friends because she became isolate. She said, “When I told one of my friends that I was depressed, she tried to convince me her life was worse and I didn’t have it so bad.”

Because of this she felt trapped, sad and alone. She said, “The analogy of drowning and seeing everyone around you breathing and them just telling you to breathe is a really good example.” Hailee’s turning point was when she went to her therapist and the strategies she used was realizing she wasn’t the problem. She said, “My mom helped by actually realizing that this was a real thing. She never listens to me until she hears a professional opinion. My boyfriend helped by staying in touch with me and knowing how to calm me down in bad times.”

The lesson that Hailee learned from this ordeal was people can be crappy and it’s not her fault. Hee outlook in has also changed. She is a much more understanding person now. This is her advice:

“It may seem like life will never get better but it really does. 3 years ago, when people told me it would get better I never believed them. I know it’s hard to believe that but it really is true. There is help out there and with the rising global awareness, it should be easier to get help for anyone with any kind of illness.”

Help me make a difference by sharing your story. If you or anyone you know needs a safe place to vent out and recieve advice feel free to become a member of the Mental Illness Recovery Series Group on Facebook.