Fidelity Series: 10 Signs Your Partner Might be Cheating on You

Sadly, an unfaithful partner has burned many of us who long for monogamous relationships. At one moment everything seems amazing between the two of you and the next, you’re telling them to pack their bags. But weren’t there signs? Yes, there were. Behavior changes in our partners may feel subtle, but they can act as huge red flags that tell us that something is up. Psych2Go has a new list for you: here are 10 signs your partner might be cheating on you.

Of course, everyone may be a little guilty of these behaviors at one time or another, but it’s all about what feels out of place for us and what seems excessive.

  1. They’re Obsessed With Their Looks

Has your partner been taking more of an interest in their beauty as of late? Are they hitting way more gym hours than they usually do? Are they making more of a point to show this newfound hotness on their social media? Sure, they might just be doing it for themselves… but their new look might not be just for you. Now remember, loving the gym doesn’t make someone unfaithful. But if someone’s cheating on you, chances are, they’re pumping iron.

  1. They’re No Longer Interested in Sex With You

It’s natural for couples to have less sex as their relationship progresses. Most of us know this, and though some of us can’t always have sex with our partners every day, many of us have no problem trying to keep the intimacy alive. But when a partner withdrawals abruptly on sexual activity, they shoot up a huge red flag of infidelity. Partners who constantly refuse or postpone sex may just be saving their sexual energy for another partner.

  1. They Are More Attentive to You Than Normal

Just as it can be a warning for a partner to withdraw sexually, it can also be telling when a partner begins to show you a little too much affection. A partner that cheats may give you constant displays of affection and might even want to have sex with you more times in a day than you can take! While some people who cheat lack the cognitive dissonance necessary to feel guilt for their actions, leaving them feeling justified, these affectionate cheaters tend to smother you because they feel guilt for their betrayal.

If you believe that your relationship could benefit from online couples counseling, check out this link:

  1. They Constantly Talk Badly About Another Person

You could also just take this at face value: they may just not like that person. But there’s room for judgment here. Is your partner constantly complaining about a co-worker or friend, telling you how gross and unattractive they are? Is that person… not that unattractive? They might be trying to throw off the suspicion that that same person is a secret lover.

  1. They are Constantly Arguing With You

Has your partner been constantly picking fights with you? Do they get irritated by things that you say, even after you tell them you don’t mean any harm? They might be showing their softer side to someone else. This behavior can be explained by the resentment a partner feels when they are unhappy in a relationship. They may be comparing you to their newer partner and condemning you for not being like them.

Some cheating partners may even threaten to end the relationship, suggesting breakups in the middle of arguments. This might feel cruel and controlling, but what they really want is for you to agree and break up with them, thus solving the problem they’ve created.

  1. They Have Low Self-Esteem

Does your partner seek constant validation? Is the validation you give not enough? Partners with low self-esteem may seek or respond to validation from strangers in regard to their looks and desirability. Interested strangers at bars easily woo these flirty people, as well as appealing Instagram profiles that slide into their DMs. If you don’t tell them on a daily basis that they are your world, they’ll find someone else that does.

  1. They get Defensive With Their Social Media and Phones

Yes, we’re all entitled to our privacy. Being in a relationship with someone does not grant you automatic access to their phone and social media passwords. But are they a little too guarded about their screens? If a partner works to ensure you don’t see who or what they text or gets snappy with you when you glance at their screen, it might just be because there’s something there they don’t want you to see.

  1. They Get Texts at Odd Hours From Strange Numbers

Isn’t it nice to watch a movie with your significant other on their nice 15-inch laptop? Trust me, it’s not so nice when an iMessage pops up from a random phone number asking your partner “How’s your night going?”. Because we all know that no platonic friend is asking your partner “how their night is going” at 1 am. Does their phone light up with messages from unlisted numbers and “friends” you’ve never heard of until now? Your partner probably has some explaining to do.

  1. They Project Their Behavior Onto You

Mirroring is a common defense mechanism that many people use to ease themselves of their wrongdoings. People who mirror project their mistakes or undesirable traits onto other people, enabling them to condemn the things they don’t like about themselves, without having to feel any real shame. People who cheat may mirror their behavior onto you by accusing you of cheating. This can be brought up as a serious accusation, or even a repeated joke.

  1. Your Intuition is Telling You Something Is Wrong

This sounds a little vague. But it’s true! No one knows the inner workings of your relationship better than you do. When your partner’s overall demeanor – and the feeling you get from your relationship – changes, there’s no one better than you to understand that something is up. Listen to your gut. It’s important to remember that you cannot accuse anyone of cheating or dishonesty without any proof, but it’s always a good idea to open up a discussion about how you feel things have been different.


How did we do? Are there any red flags you feel should belong on this list? Let us know in the comments section down below.


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