Dating. You’ve been there, done that. The truth is, a lot of us have experienced the big ‘no-nos’ of dating. Ya know? The little clues that key us in to whether or not this person sitting across the dinner table from us is a keeper or not.
The way he’s chewing with his mouth open, food splaying out in front of you, may be a little red flag. Then there’s bigger red flags, like if he bores you to death, can’t stop talking about his past girlfriends (on a first date), or has an obsession with cat outfits.
Actually, that last one’s kinda cute. Remember when obsessions with cats was, like… a bad thing? I feel like that was an unattractive trait in movies. Now, it’s all the buzz. Pinterest, Instagram, blogs, – it’s everywhere! I’ve always liked cats. Always will. Cat clothes? Why the hell not?
Okay, I better stop myself before I get obsessed.
Anyways! My point is, we pay attention to the red flags so much, that we may miss out on the green flags. That’s right. The good things about the person sitting in front of you. There are good things in dating ya know. They still exist. It’s my job right now to help you look out for them.
Here are 6 Green Flags on Dating You Should Be Aware Of.
1. You Talk for Hours and It Seems Like Minutes
Have you ever been on a date for what seems like hours? It can be exhausting.
But, what about the opposite of that. What if you suddenly look at the clock and it’s been hours!
A waitress taps you and your date on the shoulders and informs you that the store is about to be closed.
You object, insisting it’s been only but a few minutes!
That’s when she informs you she’ll be calling the cops and drags over the manager.
What a Karen.
To your surprise, she’s right. A quick glance at the clock shows you’ve been here four hours instead of the mere minutes you thought you had been here.
Well… let’s be realistic. If you really thought it had been but a few minutes, when it had been four hours?? I may want to get your head checked. Seriously, it could be a tumor just waiting to be found.
Go. Now. Check it out.
But, sometimes hours can pass by when lively conversation with a great partner grabs our attention. It’s like we lose our sense of time!
This could be a sign you genuinely enjoy hanging out with the person and aren’t just checking off boxes on if you are a perfect fit. Listen in, not only to you and your partners fascinating conversations, but to the signs as well.
2. They ‘Get You’ (And Listen!)
Sometimes dates can be boring. Sometimes lively! But if your date makes it a point to refer back to a point you were discussing, or a topic you were rudely interrupted by your waitress (Gosh Karen!), than they may be a keeper.
The fact is, they are listening to you! Not just hearing the words as they come out of your mouth, but genuinely keeping the conversation going because they want to hear what you have to say. They don’t think of it as just small talk, but find themselves interested in the same topics as well.
When we like someone, we want to know their world. What are their interests? Their taste in music? What TV show are they watching? What occupies their day? What do they laugh about?
What you don’t want is for these questions to seem like a routine list. If you find you have to remind yourself to ask about them (out of boredom, not if you are interested in something else for the time being), then odds are you aren’t as interested in them.
And if they let that whole conversation about your career and family go – just as you were getting to the good part – when Karen comes by and interrupts, odds are they aren’t as into you either.
3. They Are Kind to the Waitress (Including Karen??)
Yep. That’s right. They’re kind to our dear old Karen.
Remember Karen? Ya know? Our waitress at the diner? On our date?
Well, to make things even more shocking. Your date’s nice to her.
Yeah! I know!
If you think about how annoying a Karen is, and this guy has the patience to keep his cool? He’s definitely a keeper.
Thing is, how your date treats your waiter can be valuable insight into their character. Is your date going out of the way to complain about your waitress Karen? Are they losing their patience with Karen? Are they, too, calling the manager? Thus, becoming a Karen?
Well, we don’t want Karen dates. So, pay attention to how your partner treats staff and employees. And if they’re nice to waiters when they think you’re not watching, that shows it’s real. Doing so can give you some interesting details about who they are, and how they handle stress – even as small amount of stress as waiting for your order of chicken wings to arrive. So tasty.
4. Being Around Them Feels ‘Natural’
People can get nerves when around someone they like. That’s normal.
But also, if you find you are calm and comfortable around this person, that may mean they just belong with you!
You’re just meant to be!
Well, let’s take it easy. You can’t just base this off a feeling of how natural and comfortable it was eating dinner with him at Big Joe’s House of Wings. It may be the wings!
Just remember, if you usually hate people. Or perhaps you’re just introverted and find hanging out with others as a chore. But this date doesn’t feel… well… annoying?
Then that is definitely a green flag to be aware of.
5. They’re Not Eyeing Their Phone On Your Date
If you find yourself on a date where the other person isn’t constantly eyeing their phone – or on it for most of it – then this is an obvious green flag.
If someone isn’t interested in what you’re saying or they aren’t honed in on you and the date, their mind may go to their phone.
Our phones are our outlets to other worlds and people. So if your date is found texting on their phone more often than none, that’s a red flag.
If they are still looking into your eyes, or caught up in your conversations together, that is a green one.
6. You Find Yourself Smiling. All. The. Time.
This one should seem obvious but, a lot of people don’t take how they are around a person into account.
One of the most important things should be how you feel on the date. Is this person making you laugh? Making you comfortable? Do you get butterflies in your stomach? Are they kind to you? Do you feel happy around them? Do you like who you are when you’re with them?
These are the types of questions we can ask to make us positive that we want to go on a second date.
If you find yourself coming home with all smiles, – that persist throughout the day! Then you may have found your match. If someone doesn’t make you feel happy, how is that not a red flag?
So next time after your date, if your cheeks hurt from smiling to your ears all day, you know it’s a green light go!
And if that piece of chicken wing from his obnoxious chewing (with his mouth open!) lands on your cheek instead, well… that’s a red flag.
That’s not how spicy chicken wings were meant to be seen. That’s not how they were meant to be seen!
Written by Michal Mitchell