7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You

When pure instincts fail us, it’s time we use our psychological knowledge and examine the universal language that is: body language. Most people won’t point-blank come out and say they hate you. Well, I mean, maybe a kindergartner having a tantrum… or like… someone who really really dislikes you and just can’t take it anymore… maybe your ex-wife?

Who knows?!

But, what if you need to find out if someone besides the frustrated kindergartner or your ex-wife – who’s inevitably taking the house and kids – hates you, then you’re in luck my friend.

Well, besides the divorce… sorry about that.

But! Nothing to worry! Because do I have the list for you. Here are 7 signs someone secretly hates you.

1. Their Body Language is Not Open

Body language can be key to finding out if someone likes or dislikes you, as I mentioned in my previous article, 6 Behaviors That Make Someone Chase You, Backed by Psychological Research, open body language can mean someone likes you and wants to accept you. They are open to letting you into their lives, and their body language physically shows this.

So, when someone is exhibiting closed-off body language, that’s not a good sign. This could be crossed arms, crossed legs, leaning back from you, sitting as far away on the couch from you as is humanly possible, or even avoiding you at all costs.

Notice your ‘friendly’ acquaintance always leaving the room when you arrive? When you do get a hold of them, are they always crossing their arms and leaning towards the door?

They could either be defensive, which would imply there may be differences in opinion or hatred brewing. Or, they could be uninterested. If someone is bored with you, they may not hate you. But they surely don’t want to spend any time around you. Sorry…

2. They Avoid Eye Contact with You

Sometimes, when someone dislikes someone, they will avoid eye contact. Now, this is not always the case. Some people are simply shy, some have a tough time in social situations, and sometimes people just don’t like eye contact. Hey! It can be weird sometimes!

But when that’s not the case. When you know the person you are talking to is not usually one to avoid a lingering gaze or two, they may avoid your eyes specifically because they don’t necessarily like you. They may not want to get your attention, because getting your attention may mean they’d have to talk to you. And what do people do when they don’t want to speak with someone? Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Thus, avoiding your gaze is the best thing to do.

But what if this is beyond dislike? And simply hatred? You may have heard your ex-wife say that she can’t stand to look at you.

This is true!

She may be keying you in to a clue that she just simply hates you.

It’s best to recognize the signs early, am I right?

3. Intense Eye Contact, (Not the Good Kind)

Wait, what?? You just said –

I know! I know! No eye contact, too much eye contact, – make up your mind! But there is a point to this.

Too much of one thing isn’t always a good thing. Some people may maintain too much eye contact in a way to take a defensive stance. What if you’re in a heated argument and the other person wants to appear more dominant? They may give you an intense glare. But we can usually spot this.

What we can’t always spot is the forced eye contact some individuals may try to maintain to show they are the opposite of what they feel, disinterested.

Remember the people who don’t say they hate you? Forget your ex-wife and the kindergartener, I’m talking about ‘nice’ people. They may maintain eye contact in an unnatural way, nodding their head complimentary as you tell your story about the time your wife moved the dog and your kids to Florida while the divorce papers were finalized, …but are they really interested?

They may be overcompensating, knowing that avoiding eye contact would imply that they were disinterested in you and your story. They must have read my tips and didn’t want to avoid eye contact. Smart… But not smart enough!

4. They Are ‘Fake’ Conversing with You

Some people don’t want to be rude. They don’t want to give off the impression that they don’t like someone. Being hostile and angry towards someone can hurt their feelings. To avoid this, people will tend to ‘fake’ being friendly with you. If someone really doesn’t connect with you they could engage in excessive small talk. Small talk is normal however! Just be wary about if the other person never opens up to you or says anything that will lead towards a deeper relationship.

Some people have a hard time getting to know others, so they may use plenty of small talk and fake chuckles here and there to impress you or simply conversate. Here is a good time to try to break the ice perhaps. If their body language is closed off in response, or you hear a horrendous rendition of a cackle in response, they may be faking it. Simply put, they’re just not that into you.

When all else fails, it’s best to trust intuition. Are you connecting at all with this person? Do their responses seem genuine to you?

5. They Don’t Mimic. Instead, They Reflect the Opposite of Your Body Language

In my article, 7 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back (Or You Subconsciously Want Them), – get your notepad ready here for that ex-wife!- I talk about how mimicking other’s behaviors and gestures, signifies we like them. This subconscious behavior is known in psychology as the chameleon effect.

If you notice that the person you’re talking with isn’t syncing with your vibe by not mirroring with you, then they may just simply not like you.

6. They Are to the Point, and Don’t Tend to Talk Further

Easy way to see if someone dislikes you: try asking some questions about their hobbies, friendships, or something else they enjoy. If they respond in short and cold statements, or simply ‘yes or no’ answers all the time, then odds are they just aren’t for you.

I mean, think about it. If you don’t want to talk to someone, you don’t talk.

People won’t elaborate on their answers when they dislike the person they’re speaking with. If you like someone, you want to share what makes you excited. You, too, may get a burst of anticipation to talk to someone you enjoy being around. Therefore, you’ll make that known by talking about what you enjoy or have in common often, and reacting genuinely.

7. They Don’t Get in Touch, or Stay in Touch.

This one should be fairly obvious.

Does your dear acquaintance you met at that St. Patrick’s Day party keep cancelling your plans and always providing an excuse? Another grandma died? Again?

Hate to break it to you, but there are only so many grandma’s a person can have.

It’s likely this person is flaking on you for a reason. They just, well… they-just-don’t-like-you!

If someone is not making an effort to text you, call you, or hang out with you, they probably don’t value you as a friend. They may even dislike you if they continuously make plans and then don’t follow up on them with you.

It’s best to take a look through all your old texts and see exactly which friends are the ones staying in touch with you.

And I don’t mean the ones from your ex-wife.

Let it go, my friend. Let it go. We already know she hates you.


Written by Michal Mitchell

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @jackycoocoo for more articles, celebrity interviews, original poetry and more.



  • Steber, C. (2016, July 21). 11 Weird Ways To Know Someone Doesn’t Like You As Much As You Think. Retrieved August 13, 2020, from https://www.bustle.com/articles/173747-11-weird-ways-to-know-someone-doesnt-like-you-as-much-as-you-think
  • Pannell, N. (2018, June 27). 10 subtle signs someone doesn’t like you. Retrieved August 13, 2020, from https://www.insider.com/body-language-signs-that-someone-doesnt-like-you-2018-6

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